Incompatibility... If I had to sum up my life in one word, it would be that word. In fact, if my family and friends wanted to describe me in one word, I'm sure they would still choose that word. As a child, this did not affect my life much. It didn't matter to my family that I couldn't adapt to school as long as my studies were good and I could solve the problem by offering cookies my mother made to my friends who were angry when I couldn't adapt to the games. The stories that I told under the pressure of my imagination, which thought that I had special powers that I could not use yet, were forgotten in minutes with the excitement of a new toy, even if it scared other children from time to time. When I stepped into puberty things started to get difficult.Every time I talked to people and said things, I got in trouble.The process which started with complaints continued with other students saying that I was crazy. I was like a treasure for the coolest girl in the school, who strengthened her position by intimidating other girls. It was impossible to escape from it. Although I made an effort not to confront her, I was always caught and ridiculed by her.
Since I had to change 3 schools before, my family was very strict about going to a new school. I also began to doubt the existence of my special powers, which I had tried to uncover for years but failed to succeed. Therefore, I had no choice but to be patient for one more year and graduate with a good grade point average. However, in the middle of school when I was humiliated, I was trying to focus my mind and neutralize my attackers because that's what happens in the movies.
The feeling of disharmony I experienced when I started university had reached gigantic proportions, but I managed to make a few friends because I learned not to share what my imagination had produced with others. I was meeting with friends, going to the movies or a concert, and not getting in trouble. Even though pretending to be a normal person didn't make me happy, I felt peaceful because I wasn't exposed to judgmental looks. The only thing that made me happy were TV series, movies and books about universes with vampires, werewolves, monsters, zombies. Most of all, The Walking Dead. Fighting something stronger than yourself was more exciting than sitting in a cafe and eating yogurt with fruit.The idea that there are no universes other than the one we live in still seemed absurd to me. The world, the earth, the seas, the mountains, the forests, the animals, the sky, the stars, the sun, the moon... Did such a big organization exist so that we could sit in the cafe and eat yogurt with fruit? Was the answer to everything really so meaningless, so absurd? I couldn't understand. I was in discord even with my own mind. If everything has a reason, there must be a reason for the disharmony I've had since I was born. Or maybe I was just crazy and everyone was right except me...
Boring days were passing quickly. Not just days, my relationships were also boring and monotonous. I used to hang out with mediocre types so I wouldn't be alone on couple dates. School was not going well either. Thinking that my imagination would be normal, I decided to study Literature. My family was unhappy with this decision, they expected me to choose a more prestigious department because my classes were very good. I misled them about the choice. Now my classes were a disaster. Because I couldn't concentrate, I failed all classes for 2 years in a row. Now that had to change. Besides me, I had two other siblings, one of whom is about to be a doctor and the other an engineer. It was a great luck for my family to have two more children who made up for the failure of their daughter, who had trouble finishing even an ordinary school. We didn't have to think about what to talk about at family gatherings, because I was always there as a big pile of problems. My experience, position, and exclusion may seem dramatic to others, but I didn't care. Actually, I wish I cared. I could feel sorry for my failures, resent my family's embarrassment, or find many shoulders to cry on by telling others about my drama.
In the end, I managed to pass a few classes. There was a strange peace in me. After this happy news, I didn't want to go home. My ex had been dating my roommate for 2 months and we didn't like seeing each other. I needed to move to another house but I didn't have enough money for it. Moreover, my roommate said I had to go now, and he packed my belongings in the common area into boxes. How pathetic.
Since the letters on its sign are not readable, I can go to the bar, whose name I do not know exactly, and have a one-man celebration. Yes, that was a good idea. I ordered drinks I hadn't heard of before, lined them up side by side, and began to take a sip of each one in turn. I was having fun but the bartender disagreed with me. I noticed that he was looking at me with pity.
- Will no one come, she asked. Why did someone have to come?
- Can't one have fun alone? I replied with a question. I had hoped that this outburst would lessen the pity in their eyes, but it was the opposite. Stupid, I muttered to myself. More precisely, I thought I was speaking from my heart, but my voice was so loud that even I was surprised to hear my voice. The bartender shook his head and walked away from me. I was uncomfortable.I took another sip of fancy cocktails and paid the bill and left. Since I had no money left, I would walk home. Fortunately, I loved walking. After a while, I realized that the sun's rays were starting to hit my face. The night that started just a few hours ago couldn't have ended so quickly. I couldn't be so drunk that I didn't realize the time had passed!! Because the alcohol rate in the cocktails I drank was even lower than my success rate in life.. I wasn't so sure I wasn't drunk anymore when I saw the sun's spiraling motion. Did the bartender add something to my drink because he was mad at me? There was no other explanation for seeing the sunrise when the night should have just begun. Moreover, the sun did not look like a normal sun.
Seconds later, I noticed something much more interesting. I had always believed that I belonged to a different place and did not find my irrational thoughts strange. But now... It all felt so scary and weird. How could such a thing happen? Could I have gone crazy? Why was everything gray except for the sun, which formed green spirals? How had the sea turned into a terrible swamp?
Where am I?
