I look at mums arms, God dammit. Again. She'd done it again, clean tiny holes were clearly shown in her bony, meatless arms. Heroin. Heroin needles. For a while mum hadn't been doing much heroin, mainly because her 'local' dealer slash 'friend' had been caught and sent to prison, his house had been raided, and he was arrested and also charged on numerous accounts of violence and basically drug dealing. Good. I hope he rots, he's ruined Mum. Me and Mum are the same that way, ruining ourselves. Just in different ways.
It was a Friday evening, Mum had regained consciousness about an hour ago, in that hour I was rushing around like mad, sitting her up, making sure she wasn't repeatedly throwing up. She was a state, it was mortifying, embarrassing. For both of us.
Yeah you're probably thinking that it shouldn't be like this, but it is. This is what I have to go through every single week. It used to bother me, but now i'm immune to it, I'm immune to the pain.
In the hour that Mum was passed out on the sofa I made my tea. The kitchen was a mess, the cupboards bare. One cupboard door was hanging off of its hinges, the tiny kitchen was a state, it smelt of mould, you could feel the dampness seeping into the walls, the green mouldy walls. There was a picture on the wall, it used to be in a clean immaculate frame, it was only small but damn, I used to stare at that fucking god damn picture for ages. It was of me, Mum and Dad, I think I was about 6 or 7, we went on holiday to Bridlington, this was before Dad had left, before Mum was an alcoholic and a drug addict, and before I was suicidal.
YOU ARE READING
I'll just cut deeper
FanfictionAnna is a 16 year old girl who gets bullied at school. She has a very hard life. She has a mother who doesn't care about her and a depressing life, and she feels the way to cope with this is to cut. With desperate attempts to commit suicide she trie...
