Close to not enough - Jensen Ackles Fanfic

43º Chapter

I can say with a lot of certainty that the week we spent in the cabin was the best time I had in my life so far.

I was living my childhood dream, hell... we all looked like kids while we played in the snow. We had a snowball team fight, we had a contest of who could make the best snow angel, and obviously we gave that award to Misha, because it just made fucking sense.

Gen spends most of the time crying about random stuff, and something deep inside me tells me that she isn't crying just because she wants to, but because she has too.

She came back to Austin the same night we came back to Vancouver, but something changed the day we landed.

Jensen has been quite distant, he never showed up again in my apartment in the late night and the few texts we shared were small and simple and that made my stomach turn upside down. I've lived this exact same scene with Jensen before, right after I went back to San Francisco. The worst part is that Jared knows what is wrong with him but doesn't tell me a word, and that is getting really on my nerves. For Jared to be able to keep a secret this long it's because is something quite big.

I feel like everyone around us knows what the hell is going on except for me, the woman that he said he loved, but apparently doesn't talk to.

"C'mon, Gen... you're my best friend and I don't believe that Jared hasn't told you!" — I was getting mad, not my usual mad. I was feeling like I could actually explode at any second now, that if no one fucking tells me what is wrong with Jay right this second, my body will collapse due to the excess of adrenaline.

"Claire, you don't get it! Jared told me, yes... and believe me when I say that I want to tell you so bad. I do, but I can't." — She was already in tears on the other side of the call, and for just a single second I felt bad about making my best friend cry for something that isn't even her fault.

"Why? Why everyone keeps saying that, I'm so fucking mad at all of you right now." — I was yelling by now while I paced around my living room.

"Because we all know how you're going to react, and neither of us want to be the one to give you the bomb that will explode in your hands..." — I don't know if Gen was still crying because I was mad or because now she was the one that's mad, either way, the sound of the doorbell got my attention immediately.

"There's someone on my door..." — Probably my voice came out more like a whisper than I intended to as I made my way towards the front door of the apartment.

"It's him, Claire... He talked to Jared this morning on set and told him that he was going to talk with you today." — I heard the desperate sound that she made right after speaking, and that didn't calm my nerves one fucking bit. It just made me feel like I should already start to cry and get over with whatever this is about already.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you Gen, I'm really sorry... I don't know what's wrong with me." — I looked through the little hole on the door that showed me those big green eyes, but something looked really wrong about them. — "I'll call you later, ok?" — I whispered, this time I did it on purpose as I opened the door in front of me, ending the call with Gen without even saying a proper goodbye to her.

"Hey... Uh, Can we talk?" — His voice was so hoarse and low that I just realized that he was indeed crying before he came here.

"Sure..." — I took a step away from the door, giving him enough space to walk into the apartment and make himself a little comfortable.

"How are you? I..." — He was starting to say, but so many years living and hanging out with Gen taught me that making small talk just makes us lose a lot of unnecessary time.