Love Above all Else

1. The Beginning

"Ugh," I say as my alarm shuts off with the slap of my palm, "Shut up please." Today was the day. Monday morning had finally rolled around. The day my whole life would be determined. Registration day. Bum! Bum! Bum! Okay, I know it is not that serious but it means a lot to me. It determines what classes I get accepted into and what classes I get accepted into means a lot for my transcript. As much as I hate to admit it to my mom, I am a little nervous. She has been so supportive and I would hate to let her down now. I know it has been hard on her seeing me battle with such strong anxiety and depression this year. But I am okay now. So my mom doesn't need to know. No matter how guilty it makes me feel keeping it from her.

"Belle! Come on we're going to be late!" I hear my mom call from downstairs. Throwing the quilt from over my body and rush to pick out an outfit really quick. I don't want to be late...or upset my mom. I decide on a pair of ripped mom jeans decorated with embroidered butterflies and a tight blue cropped tank top.

"Come on. You got this.," I say to myself in the mirror, brushing a strand of my aburn hair away from my face. I run to my bathroom to brush my teeth and finish with my hairbrush and hair ties in my mouth and I throw my Filas on. I finish getting ready in just under 3 minutes and down the stairs I fly. When I reach the bottom I stop suddenly with my mom in my face. She gently takes the brush and hair ties out of my mouth to put them in my hands.

"No running. You could have gotten hurt," I huff a large exhale, exhausted from rushing, "now let's go! We don't want to be late!" The short ride on the way to the school is nice but the tension was melting me away. Although we were listening to some of our favorite songs, the silence from both of us was insufferable. Luckily it was only a five-minute drive to the school. As we pull up in the usual spot we would be in while my sister went here last year, the pit in my stomach drops even more. staring up at the large building and the name spread above its doorways. It was all beginning to be too much. "Belle, sweetie. You got this. Let's go inside." But then there is always my mom rubbing my back and giving me encouraging words. Where would I be without her?

~~~

"Alrighty! Let's see what we have here." The office lady said across from me and my mother. "Isabelle Taylor. It says here you are an honors student. You must care a lot about your grades?"

"Oh yes, she sure does! She has always been my little overachiever." My mom gives me a little smile along with her boosting me up.

"Well then let's get this going. Thank you for giving all of her paperwork and records ahead of time, I see you are both overachievers. Let us take that tour you were talking about."

~~~

"...and that is the gymnasium again. That was the grand tour, I hope you liked it."

"I did very much. Thank you for taking the time." We walked back to the office doors but something, or rather someone, seems to gather her attention.

"Oh! How could I forget? I am glad to see you." She smiles a big toothy grin as she turns to look at us. She puts her hand on a short blonde girl's shoulder. "This is Riley Thompson. She will be showing you around once you start here."

~~~~~~

"Hey There,

It's me again. I know I haven't journaled in a while, but I have felt anxious. I have been working on myself and even started going to church again. I have to go to school this year and I haven't been since like two years ago. I know it won't be terrible but I am still nervous.

All that is going through my head is what if's. What if on the first day they have a specific protocol at the beginning of the day and I mess it all up. Or what if I'm all alone because I don't know anyone. Or what if I am overdressed or underdressed. Or what if I have to participate in gym. These are the questions that run circles in my brain.

But I also have been trying to stay positive. This is junior year. The most critical year. My medicine has been working so I'm not as anxious. I can try to join a club and maybe even join beta club. I know I have the grades for it. I can get a good score on the ACT and SAT. Maybe fall in love. Be in all honors classes. Get another 4.0 GPA.

This seems like the beginning of my new self. How did God do it in the beginning? Was he not worried? I hope I can succeed as he did. Wish me luck journal.

It is going to be a good year.

, Isabella