UP.

•-Shen - Xiaoting-• chapter 2 part 1

When we got into the plane a loud thud was heard, a gunshot.
There was an enemy in the plane. I looked over to see if anyone was hurt, someone had fainted and the newbie had come to help them. Another one. I heard a small thud after that. Opening my eyes, it was her. The newbie, she... She died.. bleeding in her head, I was gonna help her but, I would've ended up the same way.
I took one of the company produced shields out from my bag and went to check on the new girl.

It was fatal.
I felt my heart drop, she was the youngest In the plane..

BAMN!

BAMN!

the person tried shooting at me but failed I called in on my microphone:
"Enemy on the plane. One person fainted and one dead, new girl, come with reinforcements before the plane takes off. Quick." My voice was shivering hoping they didn't hear it.

as a teardrop fell from my eye. I felt like it was my fault. Why? Why didn't I fight harder to keep her off the mission!? Why didn't I protect her!? Why didn't I train her not to do this!? Why was she not trained to not fall for bait!?
WHY!? WHY!? I had to suck it up and face the person who did this. On the intercom I hear 'we hear you, reinforcements coming, protect the plane from damages and deal with the attacker, we will take care of everything else. new agents coming soon to accompany you on the expedition.'
I didn't even know the poor girl, she was so happy to go on a mission with the "big guys" I kept hearing her talking about it when I passed her in the building. But now, all that is a memory, cause she fucking dead. Such a young soul. Dead. A happy one. Dead. I will avenge her. I don't know her name but, I will complete this mission for her. I'll do it.
In her spirit.

Running towards where the gun shot were coming from dodging the bullets. When he was reloading his gun , I took the risk, put up my shield and hit him with the gun, I easily could've been shot but I did it, it worked. I kicked his for his face to face my gun and shit him the same place where the newbie is shot. He was definitely dead but I took it into my own hands to make it even more painful, he doesn't deserve a quick death for what he did.
Just as the reinforcements came, he was dead, they carried his and, the newbies body. Those eyes that were shining with happiness to go on a expedition with us, were now soulless and dead
Even worse, more of my friends joined me on this trip, more people I care about having a higher chance to die. Perfect.
'hey 'ting.. you feel a little bit distant.. are you okay? ' my friends says looking at me
A simple nod will do, so that's exactly what I did.
I didn't speak for most of the flight and just looked out the window, having a window seat was very fun not better then seeing a young person die in front of your eyes right. God damn it. Why did this have to happen.

We landed in south Korea finally, a beautiful sight to see, but I wasn't there for sight seeing. I was there to avenge someone, by completing a mission in her honor
"Sir? Are you there? We have landed please send us the location we need to go to"
And it was sent , we had to split up, so I said.. possibly my last goodbyes to my closest friends and colleagues and left.

Fuck.

I only packed a few bullets, just enough for one refill. It would be enough. If I fail this I would have to stay for an extra week, which I did pack enough for but, could I suffer through the embarrassment? Probably not...

There she is. The target.. she.. looks like an average girl? What's wrong? Is she really dangerous "uh boss?.. is this really the girl?.. -"
Static buzzing continues, some light music... , A pop song?.. "- she looks -" song gets louder 'hello xiaoting? Do you copy?' "-harm-" static gets quieter but the background music louder "up up, up we go!" "-less" 'xiaoting!? Do you copy!?' static continues over xiaoting's words the manager is barely able to hear what she's saying 'I ---- feel .. ----- like I'm about to ------ fai-' the music gets louder, a girls laughter could be heard, not a full laugh but a loud giggle, static continues

BAMN!

the gun shoots and a high pitched scream is heard with a slight groan ' gh..- get... ----- away --r-----om- me!!!" Another loud shot is heard... The music get quieter and so does the static but Xiaoting doesn't respond, only quiet thuds, and then like she's rolling down a hill, until she hits something and doesn't respond after the manager sends someone to help xiaoting and gets there, right in time, 'hello sir, it's me. I found Xiaoting what do I do?
'
"Put her back in the plane until she's back, get the gun so it doesn't accidentally go off"
'affirmative'
Click.

.
.
.

I had woken up somewhere where I didint recognize .. oh! It was the plane, but how did I get here? I was doing my mission, and then I blacked out, I should get some rest... I hope someone has spare ammo...
My eyes close and I drift back to sleep

I'm boarding the plane, I'm there with the newbie...
It replays, just like always except I don't kill the man, it goes back to me boarding the plane.
I tried saving the newbie this time, I looked in the direction of the sound and it blacked out.

I tried saving us both, the person who fainted had died. I blacked out.
I tried going to kill the man early. He wasn't there and I was shot. I blacked out.
This went on for what felt like hours... Days...even weeks... Until I realized.. there's no way to save us all... Someone had to die that day. And it was useless to feel like I could have done something. When one of us was destined to die that day. And fate chose the newbie.

I couldn't regret my actions that day forever could I?.. I can't. Because that's fate. And trying to avenge a girl, who didn't need avenging is useless and I should focus on my mission.
I was expecting to wake up but that was wrong, I blacked out again.
What was the point? I tried everything?
What could I do?
Nothing was right

But one thing I knew is that feeling guilty was wrong
And I woke up , that was one of a nightmare because I could remember it for days, it never went away. Was it even a dream?

I just want to be free from this guilt.
I wish I never went here.
I wish I never completed that mission.
No one would idolize me if I fucked it up.

WHY GOD DAMN IT.