Existential

Chapter 2

The day flies by and I successfully avoid Tyler as much as possible. I sit on one of the cement benches on the side of the school waiting for Josh. A cigarette dangles from my lips and the smoke emits from the end of the stick. Josh's blue hair finally shows up and he sits next to me. His fingers rip the cigarette from my lips and he smashes it under his toes.

"That notebook better be worth those 51 cents you just took from me," I say and Josh drops it into my lap.

"Yeah but 51 cents isn't worth two minutes of your life," Josh retorts and I slip my cigarettes into my bag.

"Whatever," I mumble and examine the cover. It's a black leather moleskin with stickers scattered on the front. I open the first page which has TYLER JOSEPH scrawled across the front. A date sometime last year is written below it but it's been smeared so much it's difficult to read. I flip through the pages realizing almost every page is written on. A few titles catch my eye and I take no time to rip them out.

Taken by Sleep, Drown, Tonight, Save, Hole in the Ground, and Blasphemy are the pages I ripped out from the leather grasp.

"Here. Burn this at your house. Put the ashes somewhere clever," I say and thump the notebook against his chest. "I'm gonna go home and figure out what to do with these."

With the pages I walk off and to the city bus stop. Josh gets up and heads to the student parking lot to retrieve his beaten down Chevy. I sit on the blue bench on the sidewalk and pull my binder from my bag. I open the black material and slide the songs into an empty divider and throw the binder back in my bag as the bus pulls up. It lets out exhaust as its doors creak open. I wave at the bus driver and take my regular seat in the back.

It begins moving and I hear a kid yelling. I turn around to see none other than the Tyler Joseph. I smile and wave at him as the bus continues speeding up leaving him in a cloud of exhaust. I turn back in my seat and play around on my phone. I contemplate texting Pine about my plan but decide against it. He'll probably want to control the whole thing if he heard about it anyways.

The bus slows to a stop in front of the neighborhood and I walk off and head to my house. Thankfully its close and I only have to walk a few houses. I stop in front of the tan two story house and pull my keys from my bag. I walk to the front door and unlock it before walking in and dropping my bag to the ground. I rummage through my bag and pull the songs from it before zipping my bag back up.

I trudge up the stairs of my empty house and retreat to my room. There is one wall covered completely in posters. The wall opposite this has my bed and vanity. The other two walls are plain and then I have my walk in closet. I guess I have a pretty wealthy family but it's not worth it when your parents are gone all the time and when they are home they're either fighting or drinking. Thankfully they're gone more than they are home. My time is filled with just school and eating. It's kind of fun to technically live by myself though.

I sit on the cushions in my wide windowsill and lay the songs before me. What do I do with these? Maybe black mail. From what I've skimmed they're rather emotional and it'd cause an uproar that the perfect basketball player wrote these. Of course, I could blame their disappearance and release on the copycat group if the principal is ever involved. Sounds like a plan to me.

The next day at school is typical. I pass the same faces in the hall and attempt torment to the same face as this past month. I haven't come up with something else to make fun of him for after his whole 'speech' yesterday. I guess he's stumped me unless I feel like making fun of his music. But that would also implied that I read it and that wouldn't work in favor of me...yet.

I lean back in my chair during Theatre as I await Tyler's arrival. I know he has a free period before this class and he usually changes out and plays basketball. I'm assuming Josh's clever spot for the ashes is in Tyler's locker.

My suspicions were confirmed when I heard the door slam and Tyler come stumbling in. His eyes were bloodshot and he staggered in my direction. His finger shook as he pointed at me and that made my smile grow wider.

"You-you burned it," he accuses me and I raise my hands as if I don't know what he's talking about.

"What did I burn?" I ask him and he raises his eyebrows. His bottom lip quivers and he seems to be fighting himself on something.

"M-my book. All of my work for the past two years is gone! Just like that. Gone," Tyler says and sounds devastated. My lips turn down for a second but I catch it. I can't let his emotions get to me. This is what I wanted anyways...right?

"I didn't burn it," I retort and pat the seat next to me. "Here sit down. Take some water."

This is probably why Tyler thinks I'm nice. Things like this. I just do it naturally and his 'break down' or whatever that even was isn't as satisfying as usual. Tyler takes the water bottle from my hand and gulps from it as he sits down next to me. I begin rubbing his back to calm him and I'm still not sure why I'm doing this.

"Sorry." He mumbles and I'm confused. No one ever really apologizes to me and I don't know why he's even apologizing. I brush him off and wait for him to return the empty bottle to me. Instead he throws it to the recycling bin across the room and it clatters into it. I nod my head in approval and I notice some kids staring at us. All of them know I hate Tyler and they're probably confused. I am too.

The teacher finally comes stumbling in, reeking of alcohol as usual. I roll my eyes as Mr. Berry tries to walk in a straight line to his desk. Mumbling obscenities about the sunlight as he passes by Tyler and me.

"Class we are blocking pages 18-24 today," he stutters out and Tyler and I stay seated as the rest of the cast gets up to rehearse. Thankfully I don't have many lines but that means I'm stuck with Tyler for the rest of the period.

"Do you know who would do it?" Tyler suddenly squeaks out. I shrug, not trusting my voice to sound convincing.

'I swear when I find that kid I will make them regret it." Tyler says with the same razor edge in his voice from yesterday. I wince at the image of Tyler beating up Josh over it even though Josh could fight back.

"I don't suggest getting violent over it," I mumble and we sit in silence for a bit.

"Look who's talking," Tyler mumbles and I snap my head to look at him.

"What was that? I couldn't hear you over your ego," I smile at Tyler and he turns his head to look at me. He just stares at me without saying a word. We continue making eye contact until he finally opens his mouth.

"At least I don't feed on other people's sadness," Tyler retorts and I roll my eyes.

"It's not feeding off of it, I just inspire it."

"Well everyone would probably be happier here if you weren't here."

I could feel his words actually get to me. Even if it was through an insult it is the first time I've really felt something in months. Even Pine's warm touch didn't alter my cold world. I scrunch my eyebrows together and tear my eyes from Tyler. I cross my arms over my chest and stare at the chair in front of me.

"You-I didn't mean it," Tyler stammers. I ignore his attempt to make me feel better but like hell I need his help. I don't need anything or anyone. I strive on my own and I can't let anyone affect me. Even if it's this ukulele playing basketball superstar.

"Shut up Tyler, people say a lot of things they don't mean but that doesn't mean they aren't true" I groan and roll my head in his direction. I can see some physical effects on him. His hands are twitching ever so slightly and his eyes are half closed. His posture is slumped and his lips twitch as if he is fighting words. Before those words could win though the bell rings. I gather my things and bolt out of the door.//Hey there, I'm back. I hope this chapter was alright, I honestly have no idea what I have written sometimes since I wrote this part two months ago. Sorry if there's any errors, I try my best to edit as best I can but some things slip past me.