Chapter 36

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"The first time I was raped I had just turned fourteen." I sighed staring into the nothingness. "He was my first boyfriend. I was crazy about him. I was just over my dads death, and he was there. He was my safe place. Well, I thought he was. I could talk to him about anything. He was older than me of course. I had slept over at his a few times before and nothing happened those times, but that time was different. He tried to touch me, but I pushed him off. He was mad but didn't do anything else that day. It happened after he had some drinks. I drank too but not much. That's why I knew he had put something in my drink when I became dizzy. He was kissing my neck giving me a hickey or something, I guess. The next morning, I woke up to him finishing inside of me. when I freaked out, he said it was my duty as his girlfriend to get him off. I left him a few months after that."

"The second time I was out celebrating with my team when I won the F3 championship. I was wasted. I only remember it blurrily I think my brain tries to forget these incidents, but I remember sometime early in the morning there were three mechanics from another team and another driver. They had a beer bottle and they just –" I left the sentence unfinished.

"Alex, you dont have to." Lando said pulling me closer into him.

"The next morning there were bruises all over my body. At least one of them raped me that night. The third time was when I was in F2 do you remember that time when I was still a rookie, and my boyfriend was with me like everywhere? He forced me to sleep with him and when I finally got the courage to say no, he punched me. My nose was broken, and I my eye was swollen shut. He almost strangled me to death when I tried to call for help." There were tears rolling down my face continually as I was talking.

"You are the strongest person I have ever met." Lando whispered playing with my hair.

"I had to be." I shrugged whipping my tears.

"Thank you for telling me." he whispered.

The rest of the night we spent cuddled up in the blanket and I don"t know who of us fell asleep first but the next morning I woke up to Lando sleeping next to me. the sun was shining and by the looks of it the lights were on, but I wasn't sure due to the brightness.

I got up turning them off and started foraging through the fridge trying to find something to eat. I decided on some cereal and as I was halfway done with the bowl, I heard a grumbling from the couch and saw Lando stretch and sit up.

His curls were all over the place and he had an imprint of the pillow on his face. To say the least he was nowhere near awake when he looked around trying to grasp reality.

To be honest I felt the same way when I wake up and it doesnt go away until I had my second cup of coffee. But thats beside the point. He slowly peeled the blanket of him yawning audibly before standing and seeing me sitting on the counter with my bowl of cereal in one hand taking a sip of coffee.

I just nodded as a greeting and gestured towards the box of cereal and milk next to me. Lando just returned the nod and after preparing the cereal he hopped up on the counter next to me where I handed him a spoon. We sat there until both of us were eating the second bowl of cereal and we heard someone unlock the front door.

"Hello?" we heard Charles call out looking for us, but we just kept eating.

"What the hell?" we heard another voice mumble as several doors were opened and Charles finally found us sitting on the counter.

"Are you serious? I have chairs for a reason you know. You look like you just woke up!"

I just shrugged while Lando nodded dismissingly.

Mick, Pierre, Max, and Daniel who were standing behind then Monegasque were just cackling at the sight. Of two people sitting on the counter eating cereal.

Lando had finished his second bowl of cereal and went to pour some more into the leftover milk he had while I put my empty bowl into the sink and lean against the wall sipping my coffee.

"I don't know why you can hate from outside of the counter club. You havent even tried it. The world looks great from up here." I stated.

"that's easy for you to say. Im still taller than you even if you sit on the counter Midget." Max laughed.

"Fuck you Maximus. Fuck you." I said grumpily.

We spent the remainder of the week relaxing and partying out life away before we had to part ways again. As the summer break was reaching an end and all of us had to go back to the respective factories to prepare for the next race. The Dutch grand Prix was a big deal for the whole team especially Max, for obvious reasons.

To say it bluntly the press conference was as shitty as the last few ones and the prying of the journalists about the prejudices Fernando (who I was paired with) had about me at the start of me filling in for Checo and our change of dynamics after his accident didn't make it any better.

The first two practice sessions didn't turn out to be great for me. I had unfathomable issues with the engine and didn't even get into the top ten. FP3 went better as I caught P4 but at qualifying the problems were back. I only qualified P13 and after some engine part changes, I had to start from the pit lane.

It would be my last race since Checo would be back for Monza and I would be watching from the Pits, so I wanted to make the best of it.

Lights out and away we go for the guys on the grid and as soon as they passed, I stepped on the throttle.

It was an exhausting task working my way through the field and overtaking as many people as possible on such a hard track to overtake at, but I managed to get to P7 at lap 58. With only a few laps to go I was pretty happy with my result already but to be satisfied I had to get to the podium. So, I kept fighting like my life depended on it.

"Hows it looking?" I asked as I left the Ferrari of Charles behind me and slowly gained on an Alpha Tauri.

"P5 keep pushing."

"Copy"

The next car I closed in on after overtaking Pierre was a Mercedes. He took up a great fight and it took until lap 70 until I pulled away. I could see the other Mercedes I at the end of the straight but with two laps remaining I had no chance of catching him. But I was happy with my result.

I parked behind the sign with the three and climbed out where I was greeted with a disdainfully scoffing Lewis. I tried to ignore him hugging the team over the fence but as he took his helmet off and shot me a death glare, I couldnt resist my pettiness. After taking my helmet off and whipping my sweat off I walked up to him with the sweetest smile I could manage and shook his hand.

"Congratulations. You were on fire today. Though I think I could have caught up to you with a few more laps." I laughed.

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