To Be Belle

Chapter 10

"Something amusing?" I hear a gruff voice causing me to turn around meeting eye-to-eye with Gabriel. 

"Oh it's nothing I was just thinking about a good memory," I smile genuinely but not at him.

"Was I in it?" He asks and I can't help but stammer he asked the question too fast.

"Uh n-no." I turn back to the bookcases embarrassed secretly hoping he'd go away.

"I'm not surprised," he frowns. "Especially with the way I've been treating you."

I don't really say anything. I don't know what to say. There's an awkward silence between us as I walk towards the right to the next shelf. He momentarily stands there. I expect him to leave but he doesn't he just watches me. Getting anxious about him watching me I get annoyed, "Is there anything else Gabriel?"

"Yeah actually there is. I just wanted to tell you I have Rose setting you up for a dress. She's wating on you right now for the measurements. 

"Oh," I say caught off-guard. "I thought the ball was just another rumor. You've been mentioning throwing one for years." 

"What's wrong?"

"I kind of was..." I stop dusting to ponder over my words my eyes more focused on the spine of random books than his face. Afraid that he will get mad at my response I'd rather not even look at him and just focus on something else, "How do I say this? Well-ya know- I was thinking about not going," I fiddle with the feathers of my duster nervously. I feel like I'm shrinking as I say this scared of his reply.

"I was kind of hoping you'd be there!" he seems surprised at my response and growls at me agitated.  

"It just seems like I get in the way of you and Bella-"

"Isabella," he corrects me.

"Whatever Beast you know what I mean," I roll my eyes annoyance on my face.

I get a laugh from him, "You always hated when I corrected you. Please though Amelia go to the ball. Do it for me."

Do it for me.

What has he done for me lately? I think over it. It's been a while since I've received a nice dress or gone to a ball. Still fiddling nervously with the duster I lay it down, "Will there be alcohol?"

"If you want." He looks at me weirdly knowing I've never been much of a drinker.

"Good," I continue back dusting. "It'll help get me through the night."

__________________________________________________________________________

Rose works in silence getting my measurements in. I watch her work through the full-length mirror catching glimpses of myself staring back at me and not my enchanted self. This mirror shows the truth. The real truth, not the ugly lie. I let a tear fall on accident hoping Rose doesn't see it and luckily she doesn't. My brown eyes seem like husks probably due to the stress. That's how I feel about myself. I'm just a husk of the person I once was. A cocoon with no butterfly emerging from it. I've been quiet and more negative than usual. 

Even though the ball is in Isabella's honor maybe by then I'd want to socialize more; with the castle staff of course not with Isabella. Suddenly the thought makes me self-conscious. Who would want to dance with me or even notice me when everyone is dressed up? I feel a tear attempting to sneak down my cheek and before I could wipe it away it falls hitting the ground. Luckily Rose isn't paying much attention. I somehow manage to smile at that little bit of relief.

 "What color dress are you hoping for dear?" She reaches for her paper to write down the measurements and dress details.

I take a moment to think about it. Red. Gabriel always loved red on me. I open my mouth to reply red but instead I reply "yellow," I even surprise myself.

Yellow reminds me of sunny days and yellow roses. It reminds me of my mother. Yellow was her favorite color and for as long as I can remember yellow was mine. "I'd very much enjoy a yellow dress."

"Yellow! Oh, the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. Yellow is your mother's too," her smile from what I see in the mirror reminds me of the warmness the color yellow radiates. "Yellow would look so beautiful on you with your skin tone and dark hair."

"If you don't mind me asking how can you have a dress finished so soon?" I look at her old hands. Hands that have created hundreds of dresses that have slowed down over time through old age. 

"I have some help don't worry child, besides I have a dress perfect for you that I have put up. It's a little outdated but I can make it look brand new. Don't worry about a thing just trust me." 

I think over her offer again. About how she wants make me look something I'm not: beautiful.

"Why are you trying so hard to make me feel beautiful when I look the way I do."

"Good gracious child you are gorgous-"

"Rose you don't have to lie about my curse I know what it makes me look like," 

As soon as I said that her mouth dropped open with shock and so did the paper in her hand. I pick up the paper for her without hesitation handing it to her.

"How do you know child?" 

"What do you mean how do I know?"

"The curse that was put on you forbids us to tell you about it. We assumed you didn't know because you never brought it up."

I think about whether or not I should tell her about Alistair. No, he has to be kept a secret. "It's a story I don't feel like talking about Rose." I shrug my shoulders as if it's anything but a big deal. "Please don't mention that  I know about my curse to anyone."

"I won't Amelia I promise! I am sorry for you child. I'm so sorry." She hangs her head low, but I tilt her chin up with my right hand. "You have nothing to be sorry about," I assure her. 

"I'll try my best to make this dress gorgeous," She promises me changing the subject..

I thank her but I secretly wish she wouldn't because I'll never live up to its beauty.