Attack on Titan: Reader X Texting

Texting 34: Common Levi W

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Willy: Paradis Island. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious.

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Erwin: Do you have a five year plan?

(F/N): I mean I'm gonna make a sandwich in a few minutes

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Eren: *flips jacket over his shoulders*

(F/N): he has been blessed with the drip

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Eren: I still don't really get what a ratio is

(F/N): learn about this ratio
139 likes

Connie: Not my man ratioing his own husband

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Yelena: Hello and welcome to my top ten reasons why the Beast Titan is a baddie

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(F/N): I want to talk to the manager. This wine is not up to standard and the scream that followed it hurt my ears. I would like a refund

Zeke: 👁👄👁

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Eren: *gets eaten*

(F/N): Was that the bite of 850!?

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(F/N): I bet if Eren got some bitches he wouldn't be a genocidal maniac

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(F/N): Say yes if you want a tbh

(F/N): tbh you're kinda ugly

Jean: I didn't even say yes

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(F/N): Zeke - human trash, waste of time, hairy bastard

(F/N): His brother - I would die for this man

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(F/N): What's nostalgia?

Armin: It's when you miss something old

Levi: brats

(F/N): Is there a word when you don't like something really old?

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Reiner: I was with a prostitute last night but I don't remember much about them

(F/N): What's their name?

Reiner: Chastity

(F/N): Blue or green eyes?

Reiner: green

(F/N): 5ft9 or 5ft11?

Reiner: 5ft11

(F/N): man or woman?

Reiner: no comment

(F/N): Either way I think you remember plenty

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Jean: Would you warn me before stabbing me?

(F/N): me stabbing you would be the warning

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(F/N): Can i be one of the bridesmaids at your wedding?

Eren: You're the groom

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Connie: Where's (F/N)?

Jean: idk, probably disappointing Erwin somewhere

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Jean: Marco died

(F/N): I need time to process-okay I'm done

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Eren: I'm angry

(F/N): Must be a day of the week

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(F/N): We have to go to a hospital!

Connie: what is it?

(F/N): It's a building dedicated to helping injured patients but that's not really important right now

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Annie: women like it when guys roll their sleeves up so we can see their forearms

(F/N): b-but i only have two

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(F/N): Quickly! Clear your mind

Connie: done

(F/N): Jesus that was quick

Connie: done

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(F/N): You ever get dumped, bring her oreos first

(F/N): Make her feel bad for leaving you

(F/N): How dare that bitch put her needs before yours

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(F/N): Lord of the Rings but it's about polygamy

Issei: That's a harem

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(F/N): I support women

(F/N): It's unfair that only men get to take their shirts off in public

(F/N): Women should be able to do it too!

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(F/N): You can have all the titans for your army you want Zeke

(F/N): Our friendship is more powerful than you'll ever be

Levi: I think I'll manage

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(F/N): She was a good witch, she was a bad witch, but all I really wanted was a motherfucking sandwich

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Nile: Are you Jean Kirschtein?

(F/N): how dare you

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(F/N): What do you look for in a woman?

Connie: idk man im not that picky

Connie: she needs to breathe (optional)

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(F/N): Men have four moods

Eren: Constant anger and rage fuelled by determination

Armin: Praying that I don't die beyond the walls whilst crying

Jean: Simping for goth girls

Connie: oh is it my turn?

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Floch *talking to Gabi*

Floch: I really don't care that you're a baby! I'll snap your neck like a twig!

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75% done with the new book

Oh and it's my birthday today, july 16th.