"Good morning campers" I called out to the boys walking into the communal area sing them all in there.
"You call this morning? Have you seen the time little Irwin" Michael called out as I shook my head
"You were the one that woke me up you only came out here 5 minutes ago so don't act like you've been sat their playing that guitar for hours Clifford" I replied as he laughed at me
I stood in the kitchen and looked out the window watching the trees and other cars become blurs as we shot past them all on the way to the first venue back on tour. In total the boys had to postpone about 4 of their shows due to me. I felt bad about it and wished their was a way around it but the shows had only been moved to the end of the tour and as it was labelled as a family emergency to the fans and so far no one seemed to have said a bad word about it online.
Taking in all the sounds around me I began to feel a bit overwhelmed. Calum and Luke were screaming at one another on the Xbox as Ashton made a coffee beside me and Michael continued to play his guitar trying to finish the song from last night. The smell of the fresh coffee was just enough to make me crave my own cup.
"Will you to keep the noise down I swear to fuck 5 year olds are more well behaved" Ashton snapped at Luke and Calum as I picked up his coffee and took it to the sofa and sat myself next to Michael. "Who took my coffee?" He snapped before seeing me with it
"I'm depressed I need it" I replied before taking a sip
"It's not a get out of jail free card" Michael mumbled taking the mug out of my hands and passing it back to Ashton "now little Irwin be nice to big Irwin and stop using your issues as a get out of jail free card with him" he sassed as I rolled my eyes
I grabbed my notepad and began doodling small cartoon characters and writing down small lyrics that would pop into my head as Michael played random chords. He knew what he was doing was inspiring something within me and he didn't stop. The chords changed every so slightly each time with a different strumming pattern, tempo and of course different chords each time.
"Arriving at venue in 30 minutes guys" the bus driver shouted as I felt myself freeze
I'd only just gotten used to the comfort of the bus. I thought I'd be fine with the new places each day but clearly I wasn't ready. Just the thought of getting off the bus made me feel sick. This was my new comfort place. I'd never been hurt here. All the memories were good ones. I don't want to throw that away in a music venue and ruin my whole perception of the state we are in.
"So when we're at the venues can I just stay here?" I asked as they all shook their heads in unison
"Not a chance" Calum said cracking open a drink
"It's not safe. You can't be alone we rather you came into the venue so at least we knew you were being protected" Ashton said as I nodded
"I'll be safe here there's security everywhere so no one will get in" I pleaded as Michael put his hand on my thigh
"Nicky it's not someone getting in their protecting you from. They're protecting you from yourself" he said as the other three groaned at him "what she deserves the truth" He snapped as I smiled at him thankful he doesn't sugar coat things to me like the others do.
"I'd be fine" I said extending the e at the end
"Look you may think you're fine but I found you nearly dead on your bathroom floor a couple of weeks ago. Which happened a week after we left for tour that you promised you'd be okay alone for. So no until we think you're safe around for yourself you aren't staying here alone I'm sorry we all agreed this morning" Michael explained as I played with my hands feeling overwhelmed by his honest words.
"Just make sure you're ready Nicky" Luke butted in as I looked at him confused
"The fans" Michael mumbled "they can be pretty loud and overwhelming if you aren't used to it. Obviously if it's not too busy you can say hello but if it's too busy you need to make sure you just move straight through" he said as I nodded
"You lot act as if I know nothing...did you forget your drummer is my brother. I've met fans before. I've been mobbed with Ashton before. I know how this all goes" I said as the bud came to a hold and screamed could be heard through the glass
"Welcome to Colorado" the driver said as I felt myself beginning to shake before Ashton grabbed my hand and mouthed you're okay to me making me smile at him
"Come on then let's get this show on the road". Luke said as they all smiled at one another "we're back boys let's go see them"
As soon as the tour bus door opened all you could hear was screams from what I assumed was hundreds of fans. The boys quickly disappeared one by one leaving me and Michael to last. I felt his hand place it's self at the bottom of my back putting me at ease as I looked towards the blonde haired boy
"Together?" He said as I smiled and nodded
"Together" I replied as we headed out the tour bus, me hot on his heels not wanting to loose him and get mistaken for a fan by security. As the venue door opened Michael picked up his pace disappeared and I shortly followed making sure he at least in eye view.
"The dressing room is the fourth door on the right Nicky. I'm meeting the boys at the stage to check out the venue. We'll be with you in 5 mins" he called out before running off leaving me to count the doors down the corridor that seemed to go on for miles
1...
2....
3...
4...
I slowly opened the door and smiled seeing the boys clothes trunks already set up and a table of food and drink in the centre of the room making the place smell amazing. As I closed the door I heard a cough casing me to jump
"You not going to say hello to us then?"
"What the hell are you doing here"
YOU ARE READING
Despair m.c
Fanfiction"You just lay here all day and never try get up" "What else do you expect" • In which Nicky is clinically depressed and can't find a reason to be okay until Michael walks into her life and makes it his mission to keep Nicky alive.
