Annoyed b.e

letters

Maggie's POV

After Billie's funeral I walked around in her room admiring every little thing about it, Billie was very unique, you can tell by the way she decorated her room, so random yet so beautiful. I haven't had the courage to step foot in here after she died until now, it took everything in me to do so since I was grieving for so long. I looked through one her drawers, revealing some pens, paintbrushes, and her journal. I took out her small black journal and opened it, a small envelope fell out of it so I picked it up and it read 'mom and dad' on the front. I opened it and took out a note from it

Dear mom and dad,

there's some things I haven't told you that I should've told you sooner but too afraid of how you'll react, for starters I was in a gang to pay off my dept that I owed to some guy to protect you guys. There's more details to it but there's only so much I can fit on a piece of paper so I'll tell you in my other letters that I wrote to you guys. Mom I'm sorry for everything I've done to you, I've never meant anything I said about hating you and calling you names, truth is that I love you so much and you have gotten me through so much. Dad, your jokes always got to me and you were always there for me when I needed you the most. I'm so sorry for putting you through so much pain because you didn't deserve it. I love you guys more than anything in this world so this is my goodbye to you. I hope your life is great without me and I hope you'll become happy.

Yours -Billie

I held the note up to my chest and cried, I wish Billie was alive so I can tell her that I forgive her. I gave birth to her, I fed her, I bathed her, I spent every moment I got with her, and when we fought I couldn't recognize my Billie anymore, or most importantly I couldn't recognize myself as a parent. I failed her.

Cassidy

I finally decided to open the note Billie gave to me, we just got back from her funeral and It hurt so bad seeing her body in that casket, I couldn't recognize her, she body was cold instead of that warm embrace that would usual put me to sleep. She didn't smell like her signature sweet vanilla smell. I just wish I could see those beautiful blue eyes again, and I'll do anything to hear her voice again. I miss her so much, on the night I got that phone call about her death I cried all night. I just couldn't take the pressure, I still love her so much it hurts. School is coming to an end soon and I would've loved to see her graduate. They decorated her locker full with flowers and pictures and everytime I looked at it I wanted to cry. People like Richard made rude remarks towards Drew and me because I was in a relationship with Billie and Drew was Billie's best friend for almost 10 years. They were inseparable. Richard made a comment towards her committing suicide, saying that she was too weak and a faggot and nobody liked her, so I slapped him and put him in his place.

Dear Cassidy,

I wish I could've told you this in person but all I could do is make love to you one last time and tell you I love you before I decided to leave. I just wanted to let you know what I did wasn't your fault or anybody's, It was all me, I felt like it would be better if I was gone. You made me so happy, I've never felt these type of emotions with anyone except you, you made my life so much better and I remember being so excited just to take you out. Or excited about little things like climbing through your window just to give you chocolate, or give you cuddles while you were on your period, or just even talking to you. Even though I'm probably no longer alive, I love you so so fucking much and will never forget you.

Love -Billie

It is true, she did sneak into my room that night and we made love, she took care of me after and cuddled me until I fell asleep, told me she loved me and played with my hair, she was gone before I woke up and that's when 1w got the call. I sighed laying on my bed reading the note over, I couldn't help but a few tears from leaving my eyes while doing so, I miss her so much and I'll do anything to hold her or kiss her again.

Finneas

Dear Finneas/ big head boy/ bozo/big brother,

It's safe to say now that I appreciate everything you've done for me and you were the best big brother anyone could ask for, you always made my childhood so much better, and even though you were older than me, you would always play with me no matter what the game was, even if it was with silly dolls or wrestling. You would always help me if I fall, you were always known to pick people back up because you always did. I'm sorry for the things I've done and said to you I hope that you can forgive me for it and that goes for Claudia too. I thank you guys for always coming to check on me, you don't know how much it meant to me.  My decision wasn't your fault if you ever feel like that, but just know I love you big brother and I hope you get this letter.

-little sister

"Hey how you feeling?" Claudia asked me while sitting next to me on the bed

"Um f-fine" I wiped away some tears I didn't know I had

"What chu reading?"

I passed her the letter and she read it over.

"Oh Finneas" she hugged me and I cried into her shoulder, I don't usually cry but Billie was my little sister, and I cared about her so much no matter how many times she pissed me off, before she committed suicide, she would hug us and tell us she loved us a lot more than she used to and tried to spend more time with us anyway she can. I wish I could've seen the signs sooner and maybe I could've stopped her.

A/n

Next chapter will be kinda cute don't worry I'm trying not to make y'all cry so much.

Sorry for any mistakes and my dm's are always open if you wanna talk❤️