Method Acting || Joe Keery

T H I R T Y F O U R

Dacre nods, eyeing me carefully.

"I was going to ask you the same thing," He says softly.

I'm about to think of an explanation that will be the least alarming, not wanting him to worry too much, when Dacres voice cuts through the silence.

"I heard you broke things off with Joe," He says carefully, like a gentle nudge.

I pause mid sip of my coffee.

"Ah," I slip out, turning to catch his eyes.

Dacre swallows loudly, like he's worried that what he's about to say will scare away the quiet, yet tamed mouse.

"I believe him. When Robert and I spoke to him, his face when he realised what you were thinking, how you were feeling. He was gutted. I really do think it just looked wrong, but when he explained it, it made sense," Dacre tells me.

My chest burns. My stomach drops like it did the night of the party, like we just reached the drop off on a roller coaster. My eyes prickle.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you by bringing it up again. I just thought you should know," Dacre says quickly, as if regretting saying anything.

I shake my head gently, blinking my eyes and willing them not to release the tears.

"No, it's okay," I tell him.

I look into Dacres eyes.

"I believe him too," I say in a hoarse whisper.

Dacre looks at me confused.

"So why did you end things?" He asks.

I think for a moment. As more time goes on, the blurrier my reasoning for the break up becomes. My heart longs for me to run back into his arms, but I'm reminded by one thing that comes with loving Joe. It hurts.

Finally, I look back up to Dacre.

"Because just when it feels like I've broken through the surface, I feel like I'm drowning again," I tell him.

Dacre rests a comforting hand on my knee. I look into his eyes, wondering how I'll cope when he leaves. He's been such a comforting presence.

People walk into the room, and I look over. I see Joe and Maya chatting as they walk by the snack table, when Joe glances over and our eyes connect.

The look in his brown eyes matches the way I've been feeling the past few days. Hurt, confused, exhausted. My heart feels as though it's crumbling.

I feel Dacres hand leave my knee, and I look over to him.

"You should talk to him," He tells me.

I shake my head. I can't. I'm not ready. I know that my resolve is shaky right now, and the smallest gesture could have me in his arms again.

This relationship has been like a theme park ride, and I need to know when it's time to disembark.

I look back over to Joe and Maya. Maya has her hand on his shoulder and is talking in hushed tones while he nods to whatever she is saying.

I get up. The room is thick with tension, and I feel like I can't breathe.

"I need to go get ready for my scene," I explain to Dacre.

He nods, understanding.

"Thanks for the coffee," I tell him, remembering my manners.

*****

I sit through hair and makeup in silence, the thoughts in my brain too loud for me to think of small conversation.

Kate and Ayla share knowing glances with each other, as I give them short answers at their attempt at small talk.