Ambivalence

Chapter 10

Calum Hood

After a few more tears, Grace and I settled in the living room, her head nuzzled into my chest. A dating show was playing on the TV but neither of us were really paying attention to it.

I felt her grip on my shirt loosen and her breathing even out, telling me she had fallen asleep. Just as I was about to carry her up to bed, a groggy Madison appeared in the stairway.

"Hey darling, what are you doing up already?" She should still be sleeping off the medicine I gave her.

Madison just sat beside me and shrugged as she played with the hem of her shirt, "Did mum tell you what happened?"

She didn't look up at me when she spoke, just picked at the skin around her thumb. I took her hand to stop her from doing that and she locked her fingers with mine.

"She just said it has to do with your dad, that's all."

"Well, it's not really my story to tell," she sighed, "But he's a bad guy and I hate him. He hurt mum and I, and now he needs me."

I rubbed my thumb soothingly on her hand as she spoke, still looking down at her even though her gaze was dead set on the floor.

"He needs a liver transplant and I don't know what to do, Calum. I hate him but his death on my conscience...I don't know if I can handle that."

I don't know what I was expecting but it sure as hell wasn't that.

Liver donation is a big surgery that carries loads of risks. The cut leaves a scar and until the donor's liver regenerates, the body is a bit unstable. This decision shouldn't be put on a young girl, especially when the person who needs her liver is her deadbeat father.

"If mum needed a liver because of the drugs and stuff, I wouldn't hesitate for a second," she explained, her voice cracking, "But she tried. She tries every single day. My dad left us and he kind of did this to himself, I guess."

I pulled her body into my side, Grace still sleeping on my chest.

"You don't have to have all the answers, Madison."

She sighed, "I don't even know if I'm a match yet."

Upon her request, I explain the testing process, going into enough detail for her to realize how serious this is, but not too much as to  scare her. I hoped it would dissuade her but she just nodded silently.

"I don't want to think about it anymore today."

I just nodded, letting her rest on my chest, her head almost touching her mother's. Soon after, the both of them were asleep and I was just sitting there, almost in shock.

How the hell did my life come to this? Two girls who were strangers a month ago are now sleeping on my chest.

It was a weird feeling, not quite love yet but definitely something deeper than just liking somebody.

In attempt to ease my thoughts which were running a mile a minute, I focused on the trashy reality show Grace picked out before she dozed off and soon after, I started to fall asleep too.

The next thing I remember is my pager going off, making me groan as I stirred awake. The girls were still asleep but Madison's head had fallen to my lap at some point.

I maneuvered both their bodies off me without waking them up, covering both of them with a blanket. Shooting a text to Grace telling her I got called into work, I instantly headed out.

When I made it to the hospital, Michael was outside waiting for me.

"Get a gown and gloves on. Massive collision on the highway, ETA 4 minutes."

Madison Ledger

I hated when light leaked into my bedroom and woke me up in the morning. I must have forgot to shut the blinds last night because it was so fucking bright in here.

When I opened my eyes, I was hit with a few seconds of confusion until I realized I was asleep in my living room and the events of last night came crashing back to me.

My phone was on the coffee table so I switched it on, seeing that it was almost 6:30 in the morning. I couldn't cook for shit so I made coffee, leaving some in the machine for mum before going upstairs to change into some workout clothes.

My head was hurting from all the stress this stupid liver transplant was causing me and I didn't even know if I wanted to do it yet.

I hoped a run would help calm me down and clear my mind a little.

So after leaving a note to my mum taped to the fridge telling her where I am, I headed out quietly.

When I got back home, I found an empty coffee pot and a reply from mum on the same paper I used. She left for work and told me to meet her at the shop at three pm when her shift ended.

I was still exhausted somehow so after a shower, I got into bed and turned on some music. Grandma and grandpa were away at their cabin, meaning I had a day of peace.

I don't know how much later it was, but soon after, I drifted to sleep.