The Prince's Concubine

19: Before the Ninth

Bilhah fastened the last ties of her dress as she rushed down the stairs. She'd barely had time to throw off her temple clothes, splash her face and hands with water, and pull on the cleanest replacement she had left. Racing to meet Lashes and Curley in the dining hall, she would eat first and borrow a lamp to shadow her eyes later. She didn't want to risk alienating her new friends by causing them colder food than was already likely.

Crossing the great hall, she found them waiting by the arch into the dining room. They joined the groups of women and older children filing in to sit at the long tables. Flatbreads already lay piled in baskets, and jugs of juice stood ready. Two pots of food were making their way down Bilhah's table, passed from woman to woman. Hands reached out to grab them, each woman ladling herself a plateful as they went past. Nobody seemed to pause to say grace before starting to eat.

Curly passed out clean plates from the stack and grabbed a bread to put on her own. Bilhah hesitated to copy her, choosing first to pour juice for her neighbours. It was only when Lashes reached out and took two breads that she felt able to take one herself. Two breads! Bilhah scanned the room, looking for signs of disapproval from anyone who had noticed. At the House the Sisters always served the food to make sure no girl dishonoured the Goddess by taking too much. But here it seemed that no one stood in authority over another. The idea made her queasy, although the bread smelt good. How would she stay on the true path with no one to correct her? And if she stumbled here how much worse would her mistakes become when her path took her outside the relative security of the Palace? The temple had strengthened her resolve to walk whatever path the Goddess set before her, but how would she know how to walk it when she'd only been taught the Concubine Path? All the expectations she had been raised to hold had dissolved when the Prince signed her paper. What if she was too rebellious or too bad hearted to honour the Goddess when she walked her new path?

Her introspection was interrupted when the food pots reached them. Watching her companions carefully, Bilhah scooped a modest amount from each onto her plate. She made a silent prayer to the Goddess before tearing her bread to dip into her food. Turmeric and cinnamon burst over her tongue, fading into creamy coconut. It was delicious and her hunger made it even more so. She'd arrived too late for breakfast and was too nervous at lunch to eat her fill. She tore a second mouthful of bread, then a third, eating as fast as she could without seeming greedy. The fourth was in her hand when the Stewardess surged through the arch.

"Where is she? The Prince's girl, where is she?"

Dread flew through her veins but she knew better than to delay her response. Bilhah stood, feeling every head turn towards her, and called out, "I am here, Stewardess."

"Come, girl, and make haste about it."

Mouth watering, she reluctantly lowered the bread to her plate and stepped back from the table. What could this mean? Had they found out about the Prince's plan? Was her paper discovered? Would the Queen herself be waiting at the door ready to throw her down a staircase? How could she soothe this woman unless she knew what she was accused of?

"Forgive me, Stewardess. Have I done something wrong?"

"Wrong?" The woman paused her march enough for Bilhah to close most of the distance between them. She looked angry. "Wrong? He's called for you already, that's what. And not even half a bell past the eighth!" She shook her head in disbelief. "Never in all my days, not even when the King was young, never before the ninth. Worker rest us all if he turns out worse than his father. Where will I put them all? Now come quickly girl, you'll go straight to him. I won't have our Prince kept waiting."

He'd called for her! She bit the inside of her cheeks to stop the smile from lifting them. But she wasn't ready! She hadn't oiled her skin and her face lacked any make up. How could she go to him like this? What would he think of her? She knew she was too plain for a Prince, but he hadn't seemed to mind it last night. Oh, but he'd called for her! He'd kept his promise and hadn't forgotten. Her heart raced and the warm feeling pooled in her belly again even as her stomach rumbled in frustration as she walked away from her meal. Goddess help me. Help me to not to be too plain, help me to show him Your love tonight. Grant that it will be like it was this morning when I lay underneath him and tasted his kiss.

Bilhah followed the Stewardess across the great hall and through the metal gate. Its lock was turned shut, then the wooden door opened with haste. Bilhah flinched as the Stewardess reached out suddenly to grab her, but it was only her key she wanted, plucked from around her neck with the ribbon tugging at her hair as she was ushered out from the waiting room into the corridor beyond.

Outside the Tower a guard waited with a maid to act as chaperone. He nodded to the Stewardess and set off down the stairs at a pace that spoke of having been kept waiting too long. Bilhah hurried behind him, careful to keep her footing as she descended the ancient stone. The maid trotted close by her side, watching her with a frown. Did she detect disapproval or was it merely concentration? Bilhah wondered who had chaperoned the maid whilst she waited? Surely she hadn't been left alone with the guard?

They turned corners and marched under arches, walls changing from vivid reds to browner hues. They passed an open courtyard where a dog rushed out from under the bushes and barked at her. She startled and jumped back, and the maid grabbed her arm as if she expected her to run. The dog was left behind, straining against the rope which held it to the wall, and the maid let go. By the Goddess, did she think Bilhah would run from her work and bring trouble to the Prince? She was offended that the maid even thought it, until guilt reminded her that she had conspired with him to do exactly that. She took a breath and flattened her hands against the front of her dress in shame. Goddess, help me be sure what You require of me. Help me to walk Your path and show him Your love, and not to care about what others think of me.

Oh, but he had called for her! Soon she would be with him, she was drawing nearer with every turn. Would he mind her simple dress and her plain looks? She was not fit to serve a Prince, not even for a few weeks. If only she'd had time to shadow her eyes. She chewed her lips to brighten them, then furtively raised her hands to her cheeks to pinch them too. Her heart raced, and her stomach grumbled in complaint. She thought of the dog again, thought of how it had surged out to seek her blood with its teeth, blood it would have tasted but for the mercy of the rope. How long had it lurked in the green darkness waiting for her? Would it have been satisfied to clamp its jaws around the maid's leg, or did it wish only to tear her flesh? Animals could see things beyond the abilities of man. The druids said dogs could see a person's heart and weigh its worth. Had she been judged and found lacking? All at once she felt lightheaded, the edges of her vision dappling to grey, and she feared she was about to faint. Before the maid saw fit to grab her arm again she made her hands into fists and pressed her fingers into her palms until the effort steadied her and the dizziness passed. She resolved to pay her hunger no more heed and swallowed down her fear with deep rhythmic breaths. He had called for her, and she would go to him. She would not bring shame by fainting as she walked to him. She would go willingly; go eagerly even except that she ought not show it. Would he be kind, as he was earlier? Would he be angry with her for making him late for his council? Would he change his mind and tear up her paper, or tell her she had to leave tonight?

Before anxiety could dig too deep into her guts, they turned one final corner and were at his door. Joy skipped up to dissolve the knot of tension. The guard knocked, and a voice, his voice bid them enter. The guard swung open the heavy wood and stepped into the room to hold it open for her.

"The Concubine Bilhah, Your Highness."

His concubine. At least for tonight, it was true. She was his, he had called for her and she had come to him. Her soul lifted in elation.

"Oh, Goddess help me." She smoothed her dress without thinking as she muttered the words. The maid furrowed her brow in pity, but Bilhah was untroubled by her misinterpretation. Goddess help me not to be too plain. Help me to show him Your love. She lifted her chin and stepped into the room.