I'm so sorry for not representing the midwest enough in my last few incorrect quotes. I'm not quite as familiar with their characters. (also is the [technical glitch] joke getting old? i used it a LOT this chapter)
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Nebraska: Good morning.
Iowa: Good morning.
Indiana: Good morning.
Wisconsin: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.
Illinois: MORNING MOTHER[technical glitch]ERS
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Minnesota: You have to apologize to Wisconsin
Illinois: Fine.
Illinois: 'Un[technical glitch] you' or whatever.
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Ohio: A mosquito tried to bite me so I slapped it and killed it
Ohio: And I started thinking
Ohio: it was only hungry. It just wanted some food
Ohio: what if I went to the refrigerator and it just slammed the door shut on my neck and snapped it
Ohio: How would I feel?
Indiana: ...
Indiana: are you okay?
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Illinois: I'm not getting into any more stupid arguements with you.
Wisconsin, with a straight face, trolling: Earth isn't a planet.
Illinois: WHAT THE [technical glitch]-
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Wisconsin: Can I ask a dumb question?
Minnesota: Better than anyone I know.
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Minnesota: Please understand that I am not emotionally invested in any of this.
Michigan: That's the nicest way I've ever heard someone say "I don't give a [technical glitch]"
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Iowa: Kansas and Missouri are fighting and screaming outside, don't you think we should do something?
Minnesota and Nebraska: [share a look]
Minnesota: Oh yeah you're right, we should.
Nebraska: [Closes the window]
Minnesota: [Closes the blinds]
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Wisconsin, arguing: Ohio, back me up on this with zero hesitation.
Ohio: Whatever he said, he's correct. And [technical glitch] you Voldemort.
Michigan: I wasn't even in the conversation??
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Minnesota: Ohio it's time to take out the trash.
Ohio: Already done.
Minnesota: ...Ohio where is Michigan.
Ohio: ...
Muffled yelling from the dumpster
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North Dakota: I have the sharpest memory. Go on, name one thing I've forgotten.
Indiana: you forgot South Dakota at the store
North Dakota: that was on purpose, try again
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Kansas: He's the worst, and that's not just jealousy talking, I'd say that to his face!
opens door
Missouri: I need your help.
Kansas: You're the worst.
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South Dakota: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.
Kansas: The cow???
South Dakota: What?
Nebraska: Kansas, W H Y?
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Nebraska: I'm begging you, please go to a doctor
South Dakota: I'm sorry is this our concussion?
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South Dakota: Yeah we had to climb over the bob wire!
North Dakota: Ope, did you just say "bob wire".
South Dakota: Yeah man, that spiky stuff!
North Dakota: You actually think it's called bob wire? Like Robert wire? You think it's called Robert wire?
South Dakota: Well, what do you think it's called?
North Dakota: It's BARB wire you idiot. Like Barbara wire.
Illinois: Oh my God. You guys. BARBED wire. Because the wire has barbs, it's BARBED wire.
South Dakota & North Dakota: Ohhhhh!
Illinois: Fucking Robert and Barbara wire. [technical glitch] you two.
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Illinois: Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, its "intelligent" and "really cool".
Illinois: But when I do it, I'm "petty" and "need to let it go".
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Ohio: Kicks the g off the graveyard sign
South Dakota, putting on the sunglasses: Lets get this party started.
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Missouri: how could you think this was a good idea
Kansas: you agreed to it?
Missouri: That doesn't mean I thought it was a good idea
YOU ARE READING
Welcome to the Statehouse/Table Oneshots and Headcanons
FanfictionA place for me to put my shorter oneshots that I can't justify as standalone pieces and my headcanons for the different states. Goes into the shenanigans of the Statehouse, the angst, and some of the ships.
