Texting 33: *Commits A Hate Crime*

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(F/N): oh boy, what we having to eat?

Eren: (F/N)

Mikasa: Oh god yes!

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Levi: Your 3DMG is a mess

(F/N): yeah but he's got a nice personality

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Connie: Do you think the Transformers are offended by Pixar's Cars?

(F/N): I think the Transformers are offended by the Transformers movies

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Ymir: In conclusion

Ymir: Screw all of you

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(F/N): They be all like 'did you eat all my ice cream?'

(F/N): and I be all like

(F/N): yes, i am that bicth

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Zeke: Levi?

Levi: *turns one blade around*

Zeke: Captain Levi!?

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(F/N): They really named their kid Willy lol

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Gabi *insulting Falco*

Falco: why you bully me?

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(F/N): Trauma,

(F/N): Dreams,

(F/N): And suicidal tendencies.

(F/N): These were the ingredients to make the perfect soldier

(F/N): But Isayama accidently added an extra ingredient to the concoction...

(F/N): That sweet Grisha juice

(F/N): And thus, a genocidal manic who talks to himself in the mirror was born!

Eren: Dope! What happens next?

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(F/N): might just smoke a pipe in the background while Eren and Reiner fight it out

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(F/N): I have an addiction to strong evil women with problemtic issues and hella good sarcasm who would rather literally kill me than let me change their evil ways and it's starting to become a problem

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(F/N): spiders got a lot of nerve to just get up and start running after I slap them off the fucking ceiling

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(F/N): Yo I skipped the tutorial. How the fuck do you not die around here?

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Hanji: I'm going to do some possibly inhumane experiments on some captured titans for the sake of science

Moblit: I don't believe that woman's ever been to medical school

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Levi: I think you can improve on your 3DMG skills

(F/N): AND I NEVER LOVED YOU!

Levi: Okay

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