Cruel Summer - Conrad Fisher

eighteen

Our party was in full swing now, with people dispersed all around the backyard hanging out. I sat at a table, under a patio umbrella with Isla, playing cards. Typically, I'm very competitive and love to smack talk whenever I'm playing games, but right now, my eyes keep wandering from the game in front of me. As much as I want to focus on it, I can't ignore Nicole's flirtatious giggling coming from the pool.

Conrad and her were both in there, and while I couldn't hear a word of their conversation, I could hear Nicole's laughter, finding whatever he was saying hilarious. I must have been looking for longer than a second because Isla gently kicks me with her flip-flop-clad feet, "who is that?" She asks.

"Nicole," I explain, luckily, no one else sat near the two of us, and I can speak in a normal tone, "she and Conrad went to the ball together last summer... she claims they haven't spoken since."

"So Conrad is known for randomly cutting people off," Isla nods. I can tell she's analyzing him, trying to figure out exactly why Conrad is the way he is. I don't doubt that she'll have a full diagnosis of everyone for me before she goes home, "interesting."

"Maybe he didn't cut her off," I shrug, taking a sip of lemonade, "maybe she was just being dramatic cause she likes him like he forgot to answer a text or something, and she jumped to conclusions."

Isla looks over at the pair, and I pretend to be interested in the cards in my hand while looking out of the corner of my eye. Conrad's leaning on his arms, against the edge of the pool, with his shoulders out of the water. From here, I can see his side profile, his strong jaw and pouty lips. He nods along as Nicole speaks, and despite her giggly laughter, his expression remains natural, not smiley like it had been up in the guest room.

"He's not into her," Isla finally says, after a few seconds, looking back over at me, "you have nothing to worry about."

"Who said I was worried?" I scoff, taking a sip of lemonade.

"Maybe because you like him?" Isla suggests accusingly, "and you're jealous.

I choke on my lemonade at her words, the sour drink burning the back of my throat. I hadn't even been able to admit that to myself yet. I mean, sure, I'd been thinking about him a lot more, and not in the same way I used to. I thought about his smile and how, when it was gone, I longed to see it again. I thought of his smirky lips and how his warm hands made me want to melt into his arms.

Shit... Isla's right.

"I do not," I disagree with her, I don't even sound convinced by my words, and I can feel my cheeks growing warmer by the second, "I'm just..." I hesitate, "curious."

"Right," Isla nods, smirking, "because you like him."

"I-"I pause, as Isla wiggles her brows at me, smiling so big you'd think she'd just won the lottery. I've never been good at lying to Isla, and it seemed that she'd never believe me even if I was. So I guess I might as well be honest, "I might have feelings for him." I sigh, my head dropping onto my arms which are resting on the table.

"I knew it!" Isla exclaims quite loudly. This causes heads to turn toward us, curious about my best friend's sudden burst of excitement.

"It's confusing," I say, sighing, "I mean, it's Conrad, the guy I've known since we were in diapers. I just... I've never felt this way before."

"You should tell him," She encourages me, reaching over to squeeze my arm, "tonight, during the fireworks."

I laugh as if she's just said the most ridiculous joke I've ever heard, "and face the wrath of Belly... absolutely not. She spoke to me for the first time in weeks today. We're making progress; I'm not gonna mess that up."