Quill of Thieves

Chapter 40

She smirked. "Well, I've never claimed to be the sensible one. That's all on you."

Astrid had expected him to at least half-smile, but his expression remained withdrawn, caught up in whatever thoughts and theories were battling it out in that analytical brain of his. She leaned closer to catch his attention.

"I suppose congratulations are in order."

He finally met her gaze. "I don't feel much like a winner."

"Well, you are to me."

She wasn't quite sure what had made her say it, but it was too late to backtrack now. His dark eyebrows rose in surprise at her candor. She rushed onwards to fill the void. "You showed incredible control. I thought I was going to die, had prepared myself for it, but you...you bolstered my fall with the wind."

The intensity of his stare seared her. "I saved you."

She nodded, releasing a breath that condensed in the cold air. "You did."

His jaw ticked. "I should have chosen to save Abel. As well, I mean."

Astrid sighed, trying not to scowl. "So, this is why you're acting so forlorn."

She let his frustrated admission suspend in the air between them, imagined it attaching to the back of a snowflake and melting down into the ground. When she spoke again, she almost sounded sympathetic. "You were being practical. Logical. It's what makes you a strong competitor, and you won because of it. You should be proud."

He grimaced. "Logical." He released a self-deprecating grunt. "It may make me a brilliant scholar, but I'm beginning to think it makes me a flawed friend."

The pain in his voice drew her nearer. You have always cared the most for those who hurt you. Her mother's taunt rang in her ears; she shook her head furiously.

"But you did save Abel." She reached out to touch his sleeve. "You got her through those flames in the end without so much as a single hair burned off her pretty little husky head. You may have chosen the book today, but it's been her you've chosen first throughout this all."

Sebastian glanced at her fingers that still rested atop his forearm. His cheeks regained some of their bronzed color. "What made you choose Matthias?"

Astrid dropped her hand back to her side. "My mother believes I'm drawn to things that could destroy me." She shrugged, turning her head towards one of the Damsels' Gowns behind Sebastian's left ear.

She squinted at it, eyelids twitching. "Perhaps she is right."

"It's not a bad thing to care for someone," he said.

"Isn't it?"

Sebastian watched her for a short beat; she had the distinct impression that, on this point, she may not be so alone. She wondered if he felt it, too. This inexplicable connection between them. She couldn't be sure. After all, she hadn't had much practice with people. He exhaled loudly, his breath puffing into a small cloud between them, before he stepped towards her. Astrid's heart leapt into her throat at the sudden proximity, but he only walked around her, reaching out a hand to touch one of the icicles hanging from the lowest branch of the pine tree behind her.

"What is this place?" he asked.

She appreciated the change of subject and turned to face him. "Hel's Abyss."

He coughed out a shocked laugh. "It seems to hardly be such an extreme as that."

Astrid couldn't help but grin when he did. "But it is. These trees are called Damsels' Gowns, which is so demeaning and sexist, it makes me want to torch the place with my bare hands."