Prologue - FAH SA J

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i didn't choose you

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i didn't choose you

i just took one look at you

and then, there was no turning back

/

Kuafah

Have you ever felt like using your entire lifespan to climb the Himalayas only to meet the same person? I have always felt that way. I used up almost 30 years of my life with the only goal which is to take care of my younger brother and it is one of my favorite thing to do. But now, it has been taken over.

Daonuea finally have a boyfriend.

But the same person that I have mentioned, is not a human being. I meant by a huge feeling that it made me felt as if I don't want to love someone or more like have a real destination in life. The more I think about it, my whole life might be about climbing up to the Himalayas mountain and wanting to see that same person which it does not even exist.

The more I say the more confusing it is

The more I explain the more I don't understand

Sometimes you just have to use body language

or even love language.

I always have the mindset of thinking that whatever that is related to the word love, It will always be chaotic. For example, I love daonuea. I cared nong so much that all the chaotic problem follow everyday as daonuea grows. The more we love the more we wants to take ownership even though we never have the rights of taking ownership of anything including myself.

The more you love the more you use emotions

The more you love the more unreasonable you become

the more you will get hurt

That's where I decide not to love and get myself involve with as many girls just to make my day better. But it does not include my love with my family, I love daonuea a lot that's for sure. Love my friends, Love of having personal space and myself. I am one the people who knows how to separate the word sex and love. Because for a male, I felt like we can't exclude sex out of our life easily unlike the word love.

As I grow, I always understand that we human have to carry a lot of heavy weight such as our work life, our bond, people that are coming into our life, people who is leaving us and people who do not have that chance to appear. We have to prepare to face a bad day by not mixing up with those good days. As for now, I am dealing with a bad day.

I'm having a car accident

No one is dead

I'm not drunk

But I drank

"haiizzz when are we going to reach?"

Once the police reached, I have to sit at the police station with my drunkards face and the positive result saying that I did drink on that day and it exceeded the law that they set on limitation of how much I should drink in order to drive. But everyone...including the society. I wasn't drunk, I managed to carry all of my friends up to the car, drive up the highway and got banged even though I am driving at my own lane. It looks like the other car were fighting throughout the ride and were snatching for steering wheel.

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