The Journey Home

Chapter 42 - A Warm Hearth

"Mary," Pru announced with a mild indifference, "have you heard that Margaret's grand tour of the Master's private rooms is planned for tomorrow?" She smiled and winked at Mary as Margaret's face blushed warmly.

"Never seen the upstairs of the big 'ouse." Mary responded, not looking up from the task at hand. " 'ave you? When you was at the house before? With the old Master?"

"Aye, " Pru responded. "I was called up there many of time, especially when the old Master was ill and his Misses was gone. It's a grand room."

"What is?" Margaret asked cautiously. She had enjoyed the fireside banter in the evenings, but knew that the conversation could easily wander to subjects unknown.

"Why the Master's bedroom, of course! All paneled in a dark wood, with heavy drapes. Of course, that's all likely changed by now. Mr. Thornton being a younger man, he might like some things different."

"Like the bed." surmised Mary, and she held her hands in front of her mouth and giggled. Pru became quite animated, pointing a knowing finger Margaret's way. "Well he'd of had to, big strapping man that he is. Old Master had a smallish bed, with the drapes around it, like the old way. It would hardly suit a man of Mr. Thorntons bearin'. His legs would be danglin' over the foot board!" she said with a full and hearty laugh. Margaret only blushed deeper.

"A'course in a grand house like that, there's a separate room for the new Misses. All done up lady like. And then a sitting room between them. " Pru recalled the floor plan of the mill house from years before.

Mary scoffed, "Why a woman would want a separate room from a man, 'specially one as handsome as the Master? It is an odd practice to me."

Margaret gulped her embarrassment, and bravely tried to ignore her discomfort and boldly enter this subject of conversation. "Ah, you think him handsome?" She asked Mary. "Why, we all do, Miss Margaret! All these years he's been the catch if Milton! Even our Bessie, God rest her, took a fancy to him!" Margaret's hands flew to her cheeks as the color rushed rapidly to a crimson flush and she laughed despite herself.

"Of course he is, Margaret! You are lucky girl, kind and handsome he is." Pru pointed a knowing finger at Margaret. "Enjoy being his woman. Don't be flustered about it. We mean no harm in teasing you." Pru reached out to Margaret and took her hand in her own.

" I dread my visit tomorrow to the house, and to Mrs. Thornton." Margaret said as she attempted to regain her composure. She paused and shook her head. "The thought of Mrs. Thornton, touring the house and showing me his bedchamber, why I can't think of how uncmfortable that will be."

"Not nearly as bad as the first night he takes you there and closes the door on the old Mrs!" Mary blurted out to the merriment of all. Margaret could not suppress a broad smile in thinking of her wedding night.

"Well, seeing that this is your last night here, I suppose now is the best time to talk of wedding nights." Pru removed her gloves and set them in the pan of shelled chestnuts. "Now, Pru. Careful, please." Mary warned her friend. "And by God's word, no discussing my father with 'er." Margaret looked to Lilly to see her reaction to the introduction of the delicate matter of intimacy between a husband and a wife, but the spinster quickly gathered her knitting and excused herself, having thought she heard Maria Louise stirring in the next room. Pru waited a moment before she continued.

"I married as a young girl myself, even younger than Mary here." She gestured towards Mary, who looked warily at Pru, and hoping that her friend would not take things too far.

"When I first married, I had no idea what to expect. My own Mam was a religious type and would never think to prepare her daughter for what happens in a marriage bed." She settled comfortably into her chair and continued. "I had feelings for my husband, but never knew how much I would grow to love him, over time. But those first few weeks was difficult. I was clumsy, so I laid still until it was over. But I was also very lucky to have a man as I did. He was a good and patient man, and helped me along so that I felt it was alright to enjoy it. " Listening to Pru attentively, Mary nodded in agreement as she continued her task of shelling.

"You see, Margaret we women was never told that we could enjoy our time in bed with our husbands, and I 'spect no one has told you this neither." Pru continued, eying Margaret to confirm her suspicion. "You've been told of the first night? How there will be pain, the first time he puts himself inside you? You understand how that works, yes?"

Margaret's mortification cold not have been any worse. Her face was hot with embarrassment as she struggled with the frustration and fear of not understanding what was expected of her as a married woman. What was worse, she could not speak to John of such things in advance of their wedding. What would he possibly think of her? She closed her eyes, avoiding answering Pru and said his name to herself. He came to her, taking her into his arm, gently kissing her as he touched her face and hair, slowly moving his hands down her arms, lightly stroking her breasts though the taunt fabric of her gown. She felt the familiar light ignite in her core, and yearned to be near him.

"Aye." Pru's voice interrupted Margaret's brief day dream. "Mr. Thornton is a passionate man. All the maids of Milton have seen that in him, but that passion is for you, Margaret. He will want to share that with you." She leaned over and took Margaret's cupped a hand on Margaret's cheek. "What ever those old governesses and aunts have told you, you put aside and hear me right now. Having relations with your husband is the joys of a marriage made from love! Your love for him is a natural and beautiful thing. You let that love show when you are alone. Hold him to you and do'n let go, and allow yourself the pleasure of enjoying how he can make you feel."

Pru's smooth hand on Margaret's cheek was remarkably strong, conveying the conviction of her words. Margaret's own hand went to hers and drawing it down into her lap, she held it firmly. Pru chucked. "And about those rooms in the Master's house. You decide where you sleep. Pay no mind to the Old Mrs. Her time for meddlin' in that man's business is done." They all laughed at Pru's frank opinion.

"Thank you, Pru. I must confess that there are times..." Margaret hesitated, and gave a small laugh. "What am I saying? There does not seem to be a moment when I am not thinking of him! When I am with him, it over takes me and I feel as though I may lose all senses." Margaret breathing grew slightly heavily as she described how she felt. Pru smiled, content that Margaret felt as she did. "That's all that we can hope for in a life." Pru offered, but Margaret's look grew dark. "I fear that I love him too much."

"Hush now, Margaret. There's nothing wrong with loving your man. " Mary added. Margaret searched for the words. "Yes, I know, but it does frighten me." Margaret said, looking down into her lap. "I have a very strong feeling," she began, "that is to say, It almost feels like something that I already know. I have felt it before, with those that I love. I fear," Margaret paused, as she choked out the words. "I believe that he will be taken from me."