Adrenaline

bonus chapter 02 | lavender haze

"God, this is so good," I moaned after taking another bite. Unbecoming of me, as Jun would have joked, I didn't bother wiping off the sauce that dripped from my lips back onto the plate.

Given how Brendon watched me, you would have thought I was trying to seduce him, he looked so in love. (Maybe I was.) (Maybe it was just really good wine.)

"Breathe," he instructed, not ready to lose his girlfriend due to her inhaling pasta into her lungs.

I took a dramatic gasp before diving back in.

"I missed you." He laughed and took a bite of his food.

We were lucky enough to see each other a good handful of times over the year so far, but it wasn't the same as before. It always felt like the moment we met up again, someone set the timer for us. One moment closer to the end of a race neither of us wanted to reach.

It was why I was so content with doing nothing tonight. Because it was never just nothing when it was the two of us. Even if my heart still held a tinge of pain every time I drove past that house that MARS used to call home and no longer did, it swelled back to normal size as soon as we pulled into mine and Brendon's driveway.

I was home. Here. In this house. In his arms. And nothing would take that sense of comfort away from me, no matter how far apart our careers tore us.

"How optimistic are we for Brasil?" I asked once I had gotten enough food in my system that I felt more able to hold an actual conversation.

Brendon wasn't what I would call superstitious, but I also wasn't surprised to hear his response. "I'm trying not to jinx it but... Geoff is feeling good. And Rix. But Rix is always feeling good so I don't know how much of a ringing endorsement that is."

I laughed. "I mean, you always do well on this track. And you're on fire this year. I don't think it's farfetched to say you might take it."

"I know but—" He trailed off, and I knew exactly why without him needing to explain it. "It's just... it's a lot to prove but I don't want to set myself up for failure and then be disappointed when I can't come through with it again."

Normally, this race, fourth to last, would have been held in Abu Dhabi if the season went according to the last few years. But, due to some scheduling issues, the line up had been switched around, and now, Brendon found himself on the cusp of a potential Drivers Championship title at the same place he lost out at it last year. He only needed to finish at least P5 in order to secure the title, which wasn't difficult to predict since he hadn't finished out of the top four so far this season, aside from a DNF at Monaco earlier this year. But, then again, he didn't even get to finish the Brasil race last year.

All that considered, I understood why he didn't want to expect too much. While he had all the tools he needed to win this thing, he also wanted to protect his heart from any more disappointment. As much as I wanted my confidence in him to be enough, he needed to believe in himself too.

"No matter what," I scooted across the short distance that separated us, and he wordlessly moved the now-empty dishes onto the coffee table so I could wind myself around him, "we all believe in you. And I know you'll do this. Not because you need to prove anything to anyone else, but because it's what you've worked so hard for and what you deserve."

He smiled into my hair. "You always make me feel like I can do anything."

"That's 'cause you can." I twisted in his arms so I could look up at him. "And anyway, your good luck charm will be there so you kind of have to win it for him."

His brows furrowed. "Idris told you he's coming then?"

"Idris did say he's flying down for the race but no, not the guy you lost to. The one who sobbed and damn near confessed to being in love with you after it."