Butterfly

chapter nineteen

anton's pov

It's been almost three and half hours since Aponi disappeared through those doors. We've had no word from a doctor, and no other staff has been able to give us updates. We were all scared beyond belief, though no one would admit it. The entire club was here now, including the old ladies. Aponi is loved by all and everyone cares deeply for her. My mother was at the club watching all of the kids, but she had called and told me to give her updates every hour. Most were fighting sleep, and some were huddled in a circle, reminiscing about times with Ivan. 

I had been trying to ignore the pain of losing my best friend since we found his body, but now, sitting here, it's like a tidal wave rushed over me. All of the pain, exhaustion, and fear were overpowering at this point. I leaned over so my head was in my hands and I just cried. I tried to cover my mouth with my hand but my body was shaking and heaving so hard, it must have been noticeable. Zeus, who sat beside me, places a hand on my shoulder and bows his head, also crying softly. 

How did we come to this? We were a club who made runs and had fun and made money, and now we just fought a battle against the Russian fucking mob. How does that make sense? I just lost my best friend to the Russian mob, and the love of my life is in surgery because of them, also. 

Was she really worth this pain? Was she really worth this devastation?

The answer is yes. It will always be yes, and it makes me guilty to even think of those questions. Because of her, Zeus and I lost our best friend, she put the club in danger, and she put Nik in danger. But, because of her, Nik has a mother, Zeus and I met our soulmate, and the club seems fuller, brighter. 

Even if she came with a storm, she is the light of my life, right alongside Nik. 

Zeus nudged my shoulder and looked up at the double doors where a man in bloody scrubs came walking through. The entire club stood when he called her name, and he looked around hesitantly. Zeus and I walked forward quickly, hoping to hear good news.

"How is she?" I ask weakly.

He sighs, "She's alive, but only barely. These next 24 hours are crucial. She flatlined twice throughout the surgery, so we give her a 50/50 chance. . . And, due to the extensive damage to her leg, we had to surgically remove it. We're allowing two people at a time. We don't know if she can actually hear you, but we recommend that you try and give her a reason to stay."

My body sagged in relief, before it tensed again at the odds of her surviving the night, and then even more when he said he amputated her leg. But still, she's alive, and we're going to do our god damned best to make sure she comes back to us. 

A hand claps me on the back, and I turn around to see Riot standing there.

"Go save your girl, V.P. We'll be here until she wakes up."

Zeus and I nod, thanking him before turning and following after the doctor. Once we got to the room, the doctor opened the door for us and gave us all some time alone. 

The first thing I noticed was how pale she was. Her usual tanned skin was now an ashy gray. Her baby hairs stuck to her face with sweat and her chest was rising and lowering slowly, but she was breathing on her own, thankfully. 

The next thing I noticed was that they left her amputated leg uncovered. When the doctor told us that they had to remove it, I didn't think that he meant that they had removed so much. There was almost no leg left, only about a quarter of her thigh was left, wrapped in so much gauze that her thigh was almost doubled in size. 

Zeus released a shaky breath before moving a chair to both sides of her bed. He sat on her right side and gingerly grabbed her, leaning down to brush kisses against her knuckles. I sat on her other side, doing the same before leaning my head down by her side, muttering soft prayers.

"God, I know I've never done this before, and I know that I'm not a devout follower of yours, but I'm begging you, please let her be alright. I need her to make it out of this alright. Nik needs her to make it out of this alright. We all do. I'll do anything, anything. . ."

I release a sigh before kissing her knuckles again. Zeus is also whispering to her and I'm comforted that at least I'm not alone through this. 

"Remember when we first met her?" I spoke first.

He chuckles, clearing his throat before speaking softly, "Yeah, I felt like a teenager again, seeing her there." 

I laugh heartily, "Man, I did too. She was like something straight out of a fucking movie or something, you know?" 

He laughs too before quieting again. I look over to see him deep in thought. 

"Do you ever wish we could have met her in a different life? We had different jobs, we were safe?"

I stay quiet for a few minutes, thinking about my answer. "I think we would meet her in every universe, Zeus, this one just happened to be tougher." 

The room is silent except for the clock ticking and the machines beeping. It's enough to drive me crazy, but I'm grounded by the fact that my soulmate is laying in the bed next to me. 

Zeus sighs, "I'm gonna text Riot to bring Nik up tomorrow morning. I think she would really like to see him."

I nod, pulling out my phone to play some of her favorite music. I want it to be perfect when she wakes up. I want her to feel safe and at home, not like she's back at that war zone. I push play on her playlist, and One More Hour by Tame Impala plays. 

When she first played us this song, we were horrified. Zeus and I teased her endlessly about how this badass, warrior woman listened to music like this, but god, had it grown on us.

Whatever I've done. . .

"Aponi, if you can hear me, I need you to wake up for us," Zeus said gently, rubbing the hair from her face.

I did it for love.

"Wake up, doll. You're safe," I whispered.

I did it for fun.

"We miss you."

Couldn't get enough.

"We love you, and we need you here."

The song continues and as I'm getting ready to speak again, I can feel her fingers twitch.