Amaryllis

"let me tell you a story."

Her mind was a discombobulated disarray of confusion. She didn't know what to think. He got her help, and he apologized. Did that mean he cared? Did that mean someone cared for once? She didn't know, and she was so confused. She just wanted her knife back, wanted its comfort.

She could hear its call, its beautiful siren song. Yet she resisted. She wanted to be strong. She wanted to be strong for him. She didn't want him to think she was a weak, injured animal.

She would be strong. Strong because someone cared about her. Strong because she wasn't alone.

The rest of the days of his suspension, Miah mostly stayed locked in his room. At Preston's party, he only got mildly buzzed because Lila was glued to his mouth and didn't give him the opportunity to drink anymore. His father wasn't home when he got in; he left a note saying he had to work late, so Miah just took a shower and slept it off.

Sleeping helped. Sleep was the only time he didn't have to think about Amaryllis, think about how he ruined her, how guilty he felt. So he slept, and he ran away in his dreams.

Amaryllis called him a couple times, just to talk to him. Over the phone, he could hear her voice growing stronger each day. She told him about the groups she went to and the things her therapist told her. Miah usually listened. It helped him feel better just to hear her feel better. It was almost as if he was righting a wrong.

When he didn't talk to Amaryllis, he thought about how his life would have been if he had talked to her before the video. He would have realized she wasn't some obsessed stalker, that she was just a nice and happy girl. He might have introduced her to his friends, been able to talk to her in school. She could have fixed him, made him better. And who knows? He could have fallen in love with the happy girl with bright red hair.

He could have. Maybe he should have. But he didn't.

And the more Miah dwelled on the what if's, the worse he felt. He couldn't go back in time, no matter how much he wanted to.

And he wanted it bad.

One day, during his suspension, Amaryllis called him. Their conversation was short, it only consisted of, "Meet me at Lookout Point." She hung up after that, and Miah, slightly amused, complied.

She would call it Lookout Point, Miah thought wryly. Everyone else called it Makeout Point. It was a ridge that looked over the whole city. It took a while to get there, though, so Miah left a note for his dad and left promptly.

When he arrived, he saw her. She was sitting on the hood of her car, her bright red hair blowing in the wind. Miah drove next to her, but didn't get out for a moment. Instead, he looked at her. Her face was tilted up towards the setting sun, and her eyes were closed. With her slightly extended arms, she looked just like a bird ready to take flight.

Miah tried to recall the feeling he had once felt in regard to her, how overwhelmed she made him, but he couldn't recollect it.

He got out of his car and joined her on her hood. Without opening her eyes, she said "You came."

"Of course I did," Miah said. "Why wouldn't I?"

She didn't answer. Instead she opened her eyes and looked at him, and her brown irises were warm once more. And, when she smiled at Miah, which she surely did, Miah's felt his insides ignite.

"Let me tell you a story," she began. "There once was a girl who wanted to fly. Every day, she would jump around, hoping that the wind would catch her one day and carry her off.

"She studied birds and planes, made wings and glued feathers to her arms, but to no avail. She began to jump from higher places, just to feel the freedom, the exhilaration of flight.

"One day, she went too high, for humans were not designed to fly. But when her body impacted the ground, her soul rose up. It grew wings, and the girl spent the rest of eternity free and exhilarated with flight."

Miah thought that story was depressing, but could see the appeal. He didn't want to break the silence, so instead they both sat comfortably until it grew dark.

When it finally grew time to go back to school, Miah didn't know what to think, didn't know what to feel.

But when he passed Amaryllis in the hall, he smiled at her. And he watched as she began to glow. It wasn't as intense as the luminescence she used to emanate. But it was enough.

And she smiled back. It was a crooked, uncertain smile, a little out of shape, but it was a smile nonetheless. And Miah went to lunch carrying that smile in his heart.

When he got to lunch, Lila practically threw herself on his lap. "I've got a surprise for you," she said, then took him by the hand and led him out the cafeteria and through the trees that surrounded the back of the school. They walked a few steps before coming into a small clearing with a little picnic table.

There sat Amaryllis, looking scared and dejected.

And next to her was Kiernan, with a devilish look on his face and a camcorder in his hand.

Miah suddenly felt like he was going to be sick as the knives of guilt stabbed his gut, mind, and heart. Please, please no. He thought. Leave her alone.

Lila smirked at him, and he knew with conviction that his silent pleas would do nothing to help Amaryllis.

They were just getting started.