What We Once Had

Chapter 4

Looking up at him with an uncharacteristically wild, scared, guilty gaze which shocked him speechless, Natalie took a moment to fix her expression.

"Martin," she breathed. "sorry, I spaced out, Adam should be in his playroom, I'll go now," she said rushed as she got up to flee her gaze downcast since she couldn't face whatever expression he had.

Before she could flee, Martin grabbed her wrist and hugged her from behind before she could shake him off making her freeze her eyes wide.

"Don't go," he pleaded softly in her ear, and she suppressed a shiver as she shut her eyes closed.

She had only heard him sound so sacred, and vulnerable once before and she never wanted to again.

"I'm sorry for burdening you today, I just... I just didn't want to ask Gabby," he said, and instantly she broke away from his embrace glaring down at the floor.

"It's fine if you do," she replied as blankly as she could trying to leave again being stopped by Martin's grip on her wrist again.

"You don't mean that, do you?" he asked his heart shattering more than it already had.

Natalie pursed her lips and said nothing.

"Do you?" he asked again his voice shaking a little breaking her heart instantly as she clenched her fists.

Noticing her clenched fists and tense body language, Martin knew without her saying anything that she didn't and released her wrist.

Once her wrist was released, Natalie shoved her conflicting feelings which she should be used to by now despite her year of not feeling anything in the depth of her heart and turned to him with a closed look she hadn't possessed since she returned.

"Whether I do or not doesn't matter," she simply replied, and Martin could only open his mouth uselessly before closing it, clenching his fists, and frowning down at the ground.

Seeing the hurt she caused once more; Natalie could only swallow her guilt and flee.

She was good at that.

Watching her flee once more, Martin couldn't help but doubt.

Was Gabby, right? he wondered before shaking that thought. No, I have to believe in her not only for our family but for us.

"Daddy?" called Adam snapping him back to reality.

Turning to him, Martin forced a smile and bent down to his level.

"Hey buddy, sorry I couldn't come to pick you up, I was busy with work. How was your day?"

"It was good."

"That's good, did you do your homework?"

Adam nodded.

"Good boy," he praised patting his head. "what do you say we have fish and chips tonight," he suggested making Adam perk up and nod enthusiastically.

"Will mommy eat with us too?" he asked with the innocence of an eight-year-old Martin sometimes forgot he had.

Freezing, Martin took a moment to say anything.

"I'm sure she'd love to, but she had to go," he replied his smile becoming more strained than ever.

"Oh," said Adam disappointed.

"But, she's coming this weekend, so I'm sure she will gladly eat with you then, alright?"

"Okay," he said still somewhat dejected.

"Good, let's go get our fish and chips," he said standing and taking Adam's hand, deciding to walk there instead.

As they walked, Adam frowned brooding over something, and Martin couldn't help but smile reminded of Natalie when she was deep in thought.