I hate you but I love you /// Alice in Boderland/// Chishiya+ Fem Reader

CHAPTER TWENTYONE

This was a great night.

I love being with Kunia but I'm really worried for when I tell her about the niragi / hatter thing since it's really embarrassing for me.

But still spending time with her really takes my mind of things.

And just as I was completely lost in my drunk thoughts the elevator stopped before it got to my floor.

I looked at the number I pressed to see if I just pressed the wrong one but I didn't.

I looked back up as the familiar blonde stepped in to the elevator.

Why was he still awake and why do I always walk into him in the most embarrassing moments?

I was so drunk but didn't want him to notice so I didn't say hello or greet him in any way.

„ I'm sorry for my leaving today" he said while looking directly towards me.

He didn't exactly put any emotion into his words but still they meant a lot.

It did catch me off guard a little since it was not what I was expecting at all.

But I couldn't help but blush at his words since I know he doesn't apologize to anyone.

That made me feel special

„ It's ok I still like you a lot" I said really slow since my drunk brain had a hard time putting sentences together.

But I immediately realized what I just said and felt so embarrassed.

The alcohol helped in the moment but I knew that tomorrow I'll regret this a lot.

I'm not a emotional person and have I hard time talking about my feelings.

I only do it when I'm drunk and don't care for the moment.

He smirked at my answer but didn't say anything.

I just awkwardly stood in the corner and tried not to fall over since everything was spinning a bit.

I really hoped he wouldn't notice it but deep down I knew I couldn't hide anything from him.

„ Can you make it to your room alone or do you need assistance?" He said slightly sarcastic.

I put on hand on my hip and really tried to speak normally.

„ I'm not even that drunk officer, I can still walk on my own" well now he definitely knows.

Gosh I'm so embarrassing.

And finally the elevator held at my floor.

Thank god.

„ See you at the games tomorrow, sleep well" I blew him a kiss and stumbled my way into the long corridor.

He didn't respond but I didn't mind.

Why did I blew him a kiss that is just so weird.

Whatever.

I just want to sleep know.

———-

Again, I woke up really hungover still in the same clothes and still with all my makeup on.

I really need to change something about my night routine.

I rubbed my eyes and stretched before drinking some water and immediately taking some pain medicine for the headache.

I got out of bed and got undressed.

I walked into the bathroom naked and took of all my remaining make up.

I had really bad eye bags and looked overall exhausted in the mirror.

I can't believe I have to play a game while hungover.

That thought immediately send me into a bad mood and so I quickly went under the shower to feel a bit cleaner.

I got ready really fast since I was pretty hungry and wanted to eat something as quick as possible.

I put on sunglasses since my head couldn't handle the bright light just yet.

I didn't even notice how pale I have gotten until I looked into the mirror in my bikini.

I sighted kinda missing the old me.

I walked down to the resteraunt and wished nothing more but my Walkman back.

I miss music in my life a lot.

Today was just one of those days where everything was negativ.

Since I woke up I only had shitty thoughts and I could t even fully remember last night.

I went to the buffet and filled my plate while still thinking trying to remember some details of yesterday.

I sat down and ate in the restaurant almost completely alone since everyone had already eaten a few hours earlier.

And then I remembered.

My cheeks flushed red and I almost felt physical pain at the embarrassing memories.

The elevator conversation.

Why the fuck would I talk like that to chishiya.

Gosh I don't even want to look at him today.

I just want to sink into the floor and never get out again.

If and outside viewer would look at our conversation he probably wouldn't find it as embarrassing but me, I'd rather kill myself than admitting to like somebody.

Gosh I hate drunk me some much.

I didn't feel like finishing my food now so I just put it into the trash and walked back into my room as quick as I could.

I was praying to not walk past him and luckily I didn't.

I let myself fall into my bed and started at the ceiling.

I'm being so dramatic over this, it's not even that bad.

I could've puked infront of him, that would've been worth upsetting over.

Get yourself together y/n, you're a grown up woman and not some shy 4th grader.

I looked at the clock that was standing on my night table to see how long until the games start.

4 p.m.

Five hours in my room should be manageable.

I have a few packs of cigs left afterall.

————-

This chapter was really weird hahah I'm sorry.

I will update more Ortern now since I start summer break this Friday.

Also I try to make a better storyline since it's getting kinda boring in my opinion lol.