Hangang In The Autumn | Taekook

14. Little Bliss

He glanced at a peacefully sleeping Jooan on his side, snuggled to his chest, hands curled into a fist, holding his shirt tightly. She looked delicate, like a feather from heaven. Her presence somehow eased his anxiousness, yet Taehyung felt troubled from inside.

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"You might wonder how I got your name, huh? Well... Let's say, there's always a way.

But after seeing you, I felt like I'm alive again. It's like I got my purpose to live and love.

You felt home, Tae...

And I just want to be where you're... "

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No. No. Please don't call my name. Please... No...

Holding to Jooan's hands unknowingly, Taehyung whispered against the slow breathing of the girl. He could feel the sadness when the recorder paused. His wide eyes were becoming blurry, his heart tugging at the mention of his name.

The desire in him contrasted with the words that came out of his lips. He wanted to listen to that more, on loop, every day and night. Because nobody made him feel a hidden passion behind his name while calling him. And here is Jeon Jeongguk, and his old recording.

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"I can't help but imagine you. I wish I could stay in your arms and hold you gently while telling you how hard I worked today, while you'll caress my hair and make me feel at home just by embracing me like that.

I wish you were here... "

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The voice trailed off so softly. There was a moment of steady breathing then the recorder stopped.

I wish you were here...

Every phrase resonated in the room and chanted like a mantra in his ear. Taehyung closed his eyes. Jeongguk might have fallen asleep after saying that - Taehyung figured. But the words stayed. Scratching his already wounded heart with an evident feeling of guilt that Taehyung doesn't even know why he was going through in the first place.

It's not his fault that he couldn't be there when Jeongguk wanted, nor the fact that he's here when Jeongguk is not. It was never his plan to be presented to the world as Jeon Jeongguk's lover but look where he's. The misery that kept hurting Jeongguk was now haunting him. Being alone and scared to even realize the purpose of your life.

Taehyung wanted nothing but to sleep like Jeongguk. So he decided to start from the first, putting the record on loop as he closed his eyes. Jooan was sound asleep. Her eyelashes rested against her fluffy cheeks, lips pouty, and little hands curled around him.

Taehyung wonders about her dreams, the thoughts that would pass through her subconsciousness while drifting into a deep slumber. He felt a force pulling him closer to Jooan as his heart felt happy while looking at her beautiful face.

Pulling Jooan closer than they already were and letting her relax against him, Taehyung breathed calmly. His face was adorned with a beautiful smile while taking each whiff of the little girl's cologne. The voice of Jeongguk was in the background, singing that beautiful song while Taehyung hummed along with the lyrics.