101 Writing Tips from an Exhausted Reviewer

Payment

As a reviewer, these are the most frustrating things I find:

- People      not completing payment.

If I took a shot for every time this happened, I would honestly be passed out on the floor. So many people just ignore the payment altogether, because they just copy and paste their review request forms all over Wattpad, and don't actually give a rat's ass about the reviewer's payment.

That, or they say they'll do it after they receive the review, and then mysteriously disappear to the Himalayas once their review is out.

That, or once you ask them to pay you before you release their review, they get all defensive and tell you that--

Wait. That leads me to my next frustration:

- The      ones who say they don't believe in payment.

I've been told off for requesting payment several times. Why?

Because, apparently, "you cannot force someone to read your book" and "reviewing is about helping others, so why aren't you just helping me?"

Like, hello, yes, I get the sentiment. Really. I do. But, well. Okay.

Tampons are all about helping women. But we still have to pay for them.

And if I have to pay for tampons and pads to stop myself from flooding Australia with my endometrium lining, then you can read one chapter of my book before asking for a review.

Seriously. I do understand that reviewers are here to help you. But we also cannot pour from an empty cup. We will burn ourselves out if we keep reviewing without getting anything in return. Then what happens? The review economy is in shambles. It collapses. We hit another Great Depression, and this time, the Great Depression isn't just the brooding bad boy in Wattpad stories having a meltdown because he realised he loves the protagonist despite all her flaws (that don't actually exist).

Besides, if Wattpad is about helping others, the whole concept should be about us all supporting one another. I'm so happy to support authors and review their works, but I would love to be supported in return! And a lot of my requesters do this to a phenomenal level -- they go above and beyond what I outline in my payment, and I love them dearly for it.

And yeah, "you cannot force someone to read your book."

You cannot force a reviewer to review your book.

So think about that, next time, before you try to quote Wattpad Guidelines on me, Sally!

- The ones who make excuses.

Some excuses, I understand. Like when people have reached the maximum follower count, and are not yet willing to unfollow all twenty of those accounts that used to post shirtless pictures of Harry Styles back in 2015.

However, I remember someone saying they didn't want to read a single chapter of 101 Writing Tips because "they didn't like the genre; they only read romance books, and don't like big fantasy novels." And I was like... girl, there is no fantasy in 101 Writing Tips, excluding that one time I made Justin Bieber hook up with French Fry.

Ah, yes. The memories.

But those excuses, like, "I don't really like stories with no romance" or "I don't really like commenting when I read" -- those just weird me out. Like, just go find a different reviewer who asks for different payment, or try to open your mind and give other non-romance stories a go! You may find yourself truly falling in love with new genres that you hadn't even considered before.

Mind you: some are reasonable. Like, if the reviewer wants you to read a book that has triggering contents in there, and you don't feel comfortable reading those triggering contents, you should absolutely ask for an alternate payment. Do not make yourself feel uncomfortable for a review. Ever.