✅ The Last New Start [NaNoWriMo2021]

103. Grow Up

"Yeah, I think so. Just tell a teacher?"

"You tell him that you want to organise a safeguarding meeting, and you don't want your parents to be notified. Safeguarding is a useful catch-all, they deliberately make it vague so that the exact purpose of a meeting isn't transparent to anyone who isn't invited. It covers bullying prevention, student safety, suspicions about staff abusing their positions, and just about anything related to emotional health. So request a safeguarding meeting. You're entitled to that, and to insist that your parents aren't told. You say that I'm going to be your advisor in this case, so I can speak for you. And you might want to say that you think it's an issue that your head of year needs to deal with. They might mess us around and set you up to see other teachers, but if that happens we'll have to keep repeating ourselves until we get somebody who's actually authorised to make the changes on the computer system."

Spike nodded slowly, and then confirmed what he needed to say. Safeguarding, parents, and Tess being his advisor. All requests that the school couldn't legally refuse. He seemed more confident now; still unusually vulnerable, but he knew what he was doing and he could see the way forward from here. Tess didn't know if she should feel guilty; but being able to take responsibility for something like that made her feel on top of the world. Did that make her a bad person? It was almost like she was getting pleasure from his discomfort, but she tried to tell herself that it didn't work like that.

"You're good at this," he said a few minutes later, and Tess couldn't really argue. She didn't know if he meant sorting out the administration, or holding him close and stroking his hair until he was calmer. But in both cases it came naturally. Whatever she was doing for him now, this was what she was meant to be doing.

The moment didn't last. They sat there in silence for a good five minutes, before they were interrupted by the shrill tones of Mindy Ciertowczki, protesting that Spike would lose all his respect if anyone saw him hugging a little kid. Tess felt her hand form a fist unbidden, before Spike's hand closed around hers. He gave her a gentle squeeze, and reminded her that Mindy didn't have the first clue what she was talking about. The girl had gotten increasingly aggressive since the rumours about Spike and Tess's relationship had moved on to being what the rest of their friends considered an established fact. She'd gotten louder as well, and possibly more desperate. Now, like a handful of times before, Tess wondered if the bully was actually struggling to hold back tears behind the sadistic-bully mask.

"Mindy, I think you need to mind your own business," Spike said, straightening up a little. "The time I spend with my friends is my own business. And I think your own reputation might improve if you admitted that your closest friends are more–" He stopped, surprised, as Tess placed a single finger against his lips.

"Don't worry," Tess said with a smile, "I'm okay." The words came out easily, and she'd already said them before she realised that they were true. Being called a baby by her classmates had always made her feel so weak and helpless, and had been the one thing that bullies had been able to really upset her with since she arrived in Raybridge. But now the words didn't get to her; they were just a cheap taunt that revealed more about Mindy's emotional state than anything about Tess. She didn't need Spike to protect her now, because something in the chaotic maelstrom of the last few months had changed her. And it seemed like that was a good thing, as she turned back to Mindy.

"I don't know why you want to insult me. I don't know why you want to hurt Spike's feelings now. But that's your business. But don't jump to conclusions; whatever you think you know about the two of us, you should know that it's probably wrong. If you want something, think seriously about what you want, and why, and what you really need, and what you can offer. Don't jump to conclusions and chase stereotypes. Think about what matters to you deep down, and you got a much better chance of finding it."

Mindy had a couple of hangers-on with her today, and the two started to look at each other in confusion. They probably didn't understand what was going on here; Tess was just speaking on instinct, and didn't quite understand it herself. But in the absence of anything they could heap scorn on or laugh at, the self-proclaimed popular girls shrugged and walked away. When it became clear there was no more advice forthcoming, Mindy followed them, not sure of what else to do.

"You sound like a lifestyle guru," Spike said from his space somewhere between confusion and amusement. "Or a helpful aunt trying to give relationship advice without mentioning sex."

"I just thought... The way she's behaved this whole time doesn't make sense. She didn't start bullying me when I arrived, she wasn't one of them. She only joined in later, after you helped me find some friends of my own. I think she's... she has this fairytale in her head, something about how high school romance is supposed to work, and she's cast you as the hero. She's not acting out of malice, she just doesn't understand her own feelings. Like you didn't. She's tried to fill in the gaps by reading novels, and she's trying to force her life to fit into that mould. You're the hot guy, so you're her love interest. She knows that if she does the things she's read about in those books, you should fall into her arms. And I'm your best friend, so I must be the rival. There's no malice there, she just doesn't know how else to deal with the situation."

"You seem pretty sure. How long have you been thinking about her?"

"I haven't. It's just like... something clicked when I saw how she looks at you. That's not desire there, I think she's just playing a role. And the sooner she realises that, the happier she'll be. I'm probably wrong, but she looked like she was thinking about it. And that's better than humiliating her in front of her friends again. I don't want my comfort to be at someone else's expense."

"You really are acting like an adult. Taking the high road and everything. But sometimes, you'd like to take a break from the responsibility, wouldn't you? You can't carry the world on your shoulders forever. Especially not with Mindy climbing on for a ride too."

"Yeah," Tess mumbled, and glanced down at her hands. They had approached the topic a few times over the last week, but not really said anything conclusive about it. "You'd really like to be my Daddy for a while, wouldn't you? So I can pretend I'm a little kid again and let you take the responsibility."

"If that's what you want, I would relish the chance. I'm not sure I understand everything, but–"

"Wait!" Tess looked up suddenly, a few attentive neurons reminding her what they had seen the last time she turned her head. As much as she wanted to finish this conversation, she knew that there were more urgent concerns today.

"I'm sorry," she said. "Somewhere I need to be, I didn't notice the time. I really want to talk about this more, and I think you're the only person I'd trust to share it with. But I've only got ten minutes to get to... somewhere. Talk later, okay? Love you."

She dashed off quickly; and was halfway across the courtyard before her panicked brain realised what her impatient lips had just said.