styled ・Harry Styles

10.

AN:

Habibti, ma-leek fe ehh? = My love, what's wrong?

La bas, mama. kulu tamam = Nothing, everything is fine

hayati = my life (term of endearment)

Inshallah = literally, if God wills it

Enjoy chapter 10 besties, you're in for a wild ride...

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

"No one will ever love you the way I do, Monira! What don't you fucking get about that?"

It's hard for me to breathe when he gets like this. Everything was going just fine tonight, until he came home. I can smell the alcohol on his breath and I try to ignore the faint traces of perfume that isn't mine. I learned to turn a blind eye to those kinds of things a long time ago; anything to avoid the display of rage I'm currently getting.

"I cannot do this anymore Ryder, I just can't" I choke out through my tears, nervously fiddling with the ring on my left hand.

"What are you gonna do then, huh? Leave me? Where will you GO Monira? There's nowhere you can go to get away from me." he seeths

His words make me feel like I'm suffocating because I know he's right. We've lived together in this house for a year, he knows where my parents live, and there's not a doubt in my mind that he would follow me to Mel's in New York if he had to. But I know that it can't go on like this. I know I owe it to myself to not marry a man like Ryder, no matter the consequences.

"I'm done Ryder. I don't care what you do, but know that I am done."

In a momentary burst of empowerment, I rush into our bedroom to grab a bag of my things that I put together a couple of months ago in case I ever got the courage to do what I'm doing right now. I ignore the stars in my vision and my hands tremble as Ryder stalks right after me and slams the bedroom door so hard that it shakes.

"Monira, be serious. What the fuck do you think you're doing?" He shouts, somehow louder than before.

I say nothing as the tears stream down my face, focusing on the task at hand. I gather some other essentials that I left out of the bag, and I grab my car keys from my nightstand. I notice that Ryder has gone oddly quiet, so I chance looking up at him. He's standing just a few feet behind me with a crazed look in his eyes

"Is there someone else?"

Something about that question pushes me over the edge. It's like I feel something snap within me. I always try my hardest to not entertain Ryder's anger because it only makes things worse, but for him to have the nerve to question MY loyalty breaks something deep inside of me.

"Are you fucking joking? No Ryder, God do you even hear yourself sometimes? All I have done for the entirety of our fucking relationship is go to school or work and then come right back here. For you. To make YOU happy while you're out with God knows who doing God knows what, but you know what? I don't care anymore! I'm so fucking over this Ryder, and I cannot believe you would even dream of aksing me a question like that." I say, pressing a palm to my temple out of sheer frustration and exhaustion.

My sudden outburst surprises both myself and Ryder. For a moment, he looks genuinely confused, as if he didn't know I was actually capable of standing up for myself. I take this as an opportunity to grab my bags and get the hell out of this house. 

"Monira." Ryder finally barks as my hand touches the doornob. I don't look back at him, but the sudden iciness in his voice runs a shiver up my spine.