Fights in the Falls

The Golf War

[Later at the Putt Hutt]

' Focus... ' Dipper thought as he wound up on the first hole of the course. ' Focus... '

The boy swung his golf club and was met with the expected results. That being, he missed the ball almost completely. He did barely manage to hit the golf ball, just enough to send it rolling to the side and into a water hazard.

Dipper grimaced. And here he thought he might've actually gotten better. Silly him.

"Don't worry, Bro!" Mabel said with a grin. "We can pretend we didn't see that."

"Shut up and take your turn..." Dipper grumbled as he moved to fish his ball out of the water.

"Do the hip wiggle," Mabel said to herself, "and-!"

With a swing, Mabel struck her golf ball dead on. It bounced off the wooden pegs on the course, zipped over a small bridge, went through the dragon set up just before the green, and bounced off of the nose of a sleeping Old Man McGucket for a hole in one.

"Wha-?" McGucket stuttered as he was rudely awoken. "How'd I get here?"

"Yes!" Mabel said with a fist pump.

"Holy smokes!" Stan exclaimed. "Someone in our family actually has talent!"

"Grunkle Stan, you ain't seen nothing yet!" Mabel declared.

"You really haven't," Dipper agreed, preparing for the complete BS that was his sister's mini-golfing skill.

 [One  mini-golf game later...]

A crowd was gathered around the Pines family as Mabel lined up her final shot. She was on the Hole 18, the Windmill Hole. Infamously tricky to time and aim, leading to many a crushed dream on the artificial green. But for a pro like Mabel, getting the ball into the windmill was child's play. 

No, the real problem was what happened to the ball once it was in the windmill. There were three possible exits for the ball. One was a straight shot for the hole. The others were off to the sides. In theory, one could alter the force of their strike to try to control which exit the ball took, but without seeing the insides of the mill it was next to impossible to figure out the force necessary without ample experimentation-

Mabel shrugged. This was just for fun, a chance to unwind. No need to take things so seriously.

With little consideration, Mabel swung. Her ball shot into the windmill with practiced ease, and she heard the familiar clunking of the ball moving around in the structure. The crowd watched with bated breath, the anticipation nearly killing them. The ball rolled out of the mill, headed for the hole...

And curved to the left, missing completely.

"Awwww..." the crowd collectively groaned, dispersing.

' Huh, looks like the ground near the hole has a tilt to it, ' Mabel thought with a shrug. ' The more you know. '

"Ah, don't worry about it kid!" Stan said, patting the girl on the shoulder. "The thing's random!"

"Yeah," Soos agreed. "Besides the Bermuda Triangle, how mini-golf works are our world's greatest mystery."

"It's fine guys," Mabel said. "This was just a laid-back game. It's not like I actually had anyone here to really compete wi-" 

At that very moment, a purple golf ball rolled out of the windmill and sunk into the hole. Mabel hadn't seen the shot, but she could feel it was a hole in one. She also had a pretty good feeling she knew who it was that did the shot, judging by the smell of cheap hair spray and daddy issues.