Attic flower

Born and Born Anew

Can a man enter a second time into his mother's womb and be born?

I don't think so Nicodemus

But that doesn't mean it cannot happen

That one is born and born anew

The first time falsely, the second true.

I thought that when I left my old lies and started again

Things were going to be harder

And they were

But that meant that I was sure

And nothing else would get it my way;

At first it was a death

Missing those things that mattered

But finding out they only flattered

And didn't mean it

Stung.

It was hard to come out and say it

With so much fear holding me back

But I am happy now.

I don't know what I was doing then

Ruining my relationships and hiding

The greatest secret of my life

I feared that they would hate me

Would send me away

And we would lose touch

But not anymore

I built a castle of sand

Washed away in the hurricanes of fear

It was mine; a construct of fear and doubt

Keeping me from life.

I hoped, by building a web of lies

To catch the life I once had and keep it dear

But if something must be kept by lies

Is it worth keeping in fear?

That was the life I had before;

Ghastly, isn't it

I was crushed to the proverbial floor

And kept by only myself to blame

But I'm not like that anymore

I told them what I had been hiding

And now we are happier than

We ever were.

I broke from the web of lies

like a rainbow butterfly

escapes from a trap

And flies.

It's hard now

But I never expected it to easy

The strings of the old world tie me still

When I feel like I'm not enough

But I tell myself I'm ready to

Start the next step and go

And I feel lighter.

It odd how one who is

in the process of finding themself

 Can feel lighter and heavier at the same time

It is like the hatching of an egg

Or coming out of a dark closet

The egg is confined, but warm and safe

And the hatching is unbearable work and toil

But the world is better than the egg

Like the house is better than the closet.

And I feel better now.

For one can be born and born anew

The first time falsely, the second true.

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🥉 winner in the Elysian Poetry Biweekly Contest 2!

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