Amen (Jalex, boyxboy)

Three

In the weeks before I went to college I'd had more fun than I'd ever had at Church. With Jack as my partner I abandoned my faith. I let go. And it was the best decision I've made to this day. If it wasn't for Jack I'd probably be worshiping a man who wasn't real right now. I would always thank him for being my gateway to a life without religion.

Under his influence I grew out my hair, I listened to more punk music and went on road trips for weekends that made my Mom worry sick. As much as I loved her, I thought her to be a stick in the mud. She tried to stop me many times but I never listened. I probably should have listened.

Back then I wasn't quite sure what we were. Whether he was my boyfriend, or just my friend who made out with me a lot. Either way I didn't care, it was then that I learned to take things as they come, cross bridges when you get to them. It wasn't necessary to live in the future all the time. Relaxing was cool but it had it's consequences.

As a result of my bad behavior I was grounded multiple times, sent to Sunday school like few times before. It's just that with Jack by my side I never felt the need to attend. Instead of going to the Church I'd go exploring, we'd get lost for hours and never care about finding the way home. It was heaven on earth to me. The best time I'd ever had.

He was my first love, to be blunt. I fell fast and hard for him, it was like an unpredictable rollercoaster ride. Jack was my crutch, I depended on him for many reasons, he was my source of fun, of happiness, I thought the sun shined out of his ass. Maybe this was because he was my first love, people say you never quite get over those. Or maybe it was because he was my first sexual experience. People say a lot about that as well.

But reality was on the horizon and I couldn't hide from college forever. The three weeks I had spent with him felt like three hours. Three minutes even. But we both knew what was next.

I remember the final nights we shared. They would always end up with us staying up until three am, him begging me to stay and my heart never failing to break into a million pieces.

The day I left he showed up at my house. He was drunk even though it was only the early afternoon. I recall the confused look on my Mom's face and how it turned to one of disgust when he kissed me. I was shocked but I didn't think much of it, insisting that he had to go home and that I'd call him when I got there safely.

I took the cab to college and nothing was the same after that.