The way I love you

20| Hope Or Torture

Meanwhile, the second paramedic, who was a lovely-looking woman with gorgeous black afro-textured hair, wrote down what she was saying in addition to what her colleague was telling her. 

"Low pressure.", the male informed. "85/60. Might be the cause.", he added. "Can I ask you why you didn't eat today?", he carefully questioned in case of any eating disorder. 

"Wasn't feeling too well… and… when I saw all the food my stomach actually refused. I did have some dry cereal this morning though.", she tried to defend herself. 

"Alright. How long have you been feeling like this? Did you throw up before because of seeing or smelling the food?", he questioned, making Lana shake her head negatively. 

"No… just today. I mean I didn't feel too well all week. My boyfriend was sick, so I guess he just passed it on to me.", Lana confessed. "Can I go now? Are we done?"

"One second. I just need to ask some basic questions since you shouldn't take fainting that easy. There is a wide range of causes and we just wanna make sure it's nothing too serious, alright?", he smiled, making Lana nod again with a sigh. "I will get you a banana and something to drink whilst Kelly will take over, yeah?", he said, disappearing through the door. 

Lana had a closer look at the curvy woman, who now stepped closer to her with a form on a clipboard in her hands. "Alright, darling. These are just standard questions to kind of see in which direction this all goes, alright?", She asked. 

"Yeah… all good. I understand.", Lana answered. 

"Great. Ehm… so can you tell me when you had your last period?", She asked, making Lana roll her eyes. 

"Why do doctors ALWAYS ask this question? Don't you have different ones?", she snapped at her even though she felt bad straight away for doing so since it wasn't the woman's fault.

"Well, a lot is connected to the female cycle. The blood loss in addition to the hormones is an easy reason for fainting. Young girls especially have problems with that since it causes the body to get dehydrated quickly. Since you are not on birth control you must have your natural cycle I suppose?", She asked. 

"Yeah… I had my last period like four weeks ago. It should start again around this time…my cycle is around 34 days.", Lana answered. 

"Anything abnormal or not?", She asked quickly, writing Lana's previous information down, but her question made Lana bit her lower lip, before starting to play with a ring on her finger since she didn't really like to go into detail with a stranger. 

"Ehm… well… My last period was a bit weird.", she confessed. "It only stayed for like 3 days and wasn't heavy at all. Like… barely even there but I still had a little back pain.", she confessed. 

"That's interesting.", she said. "Which color did it have? Was it lighter as usual or normal?", She paramedic asked, making Lana even more uncomfortable. 

"Lighter.", she answered quietly, almost dying on the spot because of those intimate questions. She didn't like being asked that detail about her private business since it wasn't something she was a fan of at all. 

Gladly the blond-haired man came back inside, making his colleague look up and stopping her from asking any further, whilst Lana took the banana and the water from him with a thanking expression.

"Have a look at this.", the curvy woman said, shifting the paper over to her partner, who frowned at the written information. 

"Are you sexually active?", he finally asked, looking up from the paper. 

"Why is that important?", Lana snapped. She was so done with answering those questions. 

"Your last period… it doesn't sound normal, to be honest. For a menstrual cycle. This description is fitting to quite some different causes but in addition that you're not on birth control right now, the most simple explanation would be an implantation bleeding. It might feel like a period, but is much lighter and only stays for one to four days.", he explained. 

"Alright… but… what exactly is an implantation bleeding?", Lana asked. 

"It's thought to happen when a fertilized egg attaches to the lining of the uterus.", he explained. "It typically occurs about 10 to 14 days after conception, that's why it's often mistaken as a light period but normally it's just a small amount of light spotting or bleeding.", the man smiled softly. "Might there be a chance that you're pregnant?", he now asked. 

Lana froze to the spot hearing those words out of his mouth before she slightly laughed to hide her inner conflict about that topic. "Please… don't… don't speculate something like that. It…brings a lot of memories and dreams back that are… way out of reach and… I am over it.", she said, ensuring herself. I have three wonderful step kids and I am happy.", she said hectically, twisting one ring on her finger.

"It's okay. I understand but should at least consider - -"

"Please. I… I really respect you. But…you're what? 30, 28 years old? You don't understand what this sentence does to me. Like… some people might be glad that you would give them hope but for me it's torture. The hope to have something I dreamed of my whole life is just turning toxic when it is false hope.", Lana said forcefully. "I wanna go now. Can I?", She asked, wiping away a tear that had formed in her eyes. 

"Well… we can't capture you here. Just. Take those.", the Lady said, putting two simple pregnancy tests in Lana's purse. 

"I–", Lana wanted to say something but at that moment the door swung open, Sean standing in the middle of the room with an expression full of fear. 

"Hey. I… I am fine.", Lana said straight away when she saw his shaking body. "It's okay. It's okay.", she assured him, putting her arms around his torso. "I am fine. All good. Just low blood pressure. I will eat that banana and drink and I will be brand new.", she said, pulling him even closer. 

"I knew you weren't alright. I felt that something would happen. I just knew it.", Sean said, not letting go of her. 

"It's okay. It's okay. Let's finish that autograph session and after that, we can go home.", Lana said gently. 

"No way. Forget about those autographs. I am going to get you home now.", he answered. "She is fine to go home, right?", he asked, looking at the two paramedics. 

"Ehm… Yeah… I think we're done. We couldn't find the real cause yet but it might just have been the low blood pressure in addition to not eating.", he confessed. 

"Sean, I love you but I can't let them down. I wanna finish and after that, I will stay in bed. I promise. You will be with me from now on. It's good. I am feeling better. 

"Arg. Fine. But after I will get you home.", he said determinedly, before leading her back to the autograph tables, where Bex was jumping into Lana's arms straight away. 

After that incident Sean and Lana finished their lines, causing them to stay until 5 pm, until Sean did what he had said. He took Lana home and put her to bed, sending Lola to her side before heading out again to get the boys and Amélie. 

"Seems like he traps me in Bed.", Lana chuckled, caressing Lola's head. "Since when do you even like to cuddle that close, Mh? You always want your space normally.", Lana chuckled, watching how her senior dog lifted her head to rearrange her position. 

Her friend laid her head on Lana's legs, putting a paw on her owner's stomach, whilst blinking softly in Lana's direction, who let out a long breath. 

"You… since you're back from Maddie you do this.", the woman figured unsurprisingly. "You want me to do the test, right?"