The Reason (1)

Chapter 8: Lessons

****This chapter may include some triggering topics for some. If you ever feel this way please seek help because there is someone that will listen and help. Like I have, because trust me it gets better because someone will always be there wanting to listen and help, you are not alone. There is always someone, all you have to do is find them.

I ended up not going to school for that whole week, with no text messages from any of my friends, it's like no one cared, or no one noticed I was gone. Maybe they were even happier, I couldn't cry anymore, I didn't feel sad anymore, I just felt numb. I went outside for the first time in days, I went to the playground. I sat on one of the swings at the swing set, I thought about everything, replaying everything in my head, asking myself what I could've done to make everything better.

    Maybe I should've just stayed silent, maybe it would've been better that way because if I wouldn't had spoken up everything would be normal. Everything was my fault, I had no one to blame but myself, well that's what I thought. Everything started to swirl around in my head I felt dizzy, everything was going so fast and I couldn't catch up, I couldn't breathe. It wasn't fair, none of it was fair, but I guess that's life isn't it?

    Why did it have to be that way, did it have to be that way? I then thought of one of the only people that listened and was there for me, David, I wanted to be with him. So that's what I was going to do, I then started to run, I ran to his house. When I got to his house I knocked on the door, and he answered the door, I was out of breath. "Amelia! What's wrong?" He then helped me inside onto his couch "Do you need water?" He went to leave to get water but then I grabbed his arm, he then looked at me with a confused look. "Please, please don't leave." I managed to say.

    "I won't leave, I promise." He said pulling me into a hug. I felt safe, I felt safe with him, I smiled for the first time in days it seemed. He pulled me from the water, I suddenly wasn't drowning anymore, at this point I didn't want him, I needed him. He saved me, I looked up at him, I stop thinking straight the only thing I was thinking of was him, he was the only thing I saw. "David . . . David, I like you," I said. He smirked and said, "I like you too Amelia." I froze not knowing what to say, I never thought he would like me back, my face felt like it was heating up.

    "Amelia, are you okay? Earth to Amelia," he said laughing, "Shocked, are we?" He hugged me tighter, I felt so safe with him, I felt safe in his arms. I thought back to Avery and Garrison, this was the kind of love I was looking for in my life, he was the answer, and David was the answer to all my problems. I then thought about McKenna, I texted McKenna another time but this time, I asked her if it was okay if I dated David. I didn't want to hurt her, I wanted to make her happy, that's all I wanted. I would've given her everything until I had nothing left, and at this point the only thing I had left was David.

    She responded and said it was okay, but I knew it wasn't okay I knew she wasn't okay, but I realized there is only so much I could've done. At this point, I started thinking about myself, something I hadn't done in a while, I wanted to be happy and if she wasn't going to communicate with me there was nothing I could do to fix our relationship. I looked at David again, he was here now, he was making me happy now, I may have been alone but at least I was alone with him. I had someone and I wasn't going to let go, I wasn't going to let go this time.

    "Does this mean like we're a thing or what?" he said I started laughing, not in a million years did I think this would happen or he would say that to me, "hey!" He said laughing "this is a serious question." I smiled at him and said, "Mmmm do you want to?" "I'd like to," he said laughing. We sat there in silence for a couple of minutes but then he said, "what now?" I looked around and asked, "Wanna go out, you know out on a date." "Going fast are we?" He said laughing, I hit him and started to leave saying, "Mmmmm never mind I'm going home." "Oh come on I was only joking, where do you want to go?" he said and I started thinking.

    To be completely honest I didn't know, so I said, "To be honest I don't care, I just want to be with you." The words that just came out of my mouth were by far the cringiest thing I ever said and at that moment my face started to heat up again probably as a result of my embarrassment. He smiled and said, "Well I'm on the same page."

    He then held out his hand and I put my hand in his and led outside of the house, I didn't have any idea where I was going but I didn't care as long if I was with him I was okay, I was happy.