Seen from Within.

Chapter 6 "So Sick..."

For the last few weeks everything was going good with Jeremiah. Can't speak too soon because you really never know with us.

I am sitting Indian style in the middle of my bed with my sisters, just listening to music and gossiping as we usually do when I get a call from an unknown number.

I answer, but no one says anything. I hear a bit of sniffling, and I asked "Are you okay, hello?"
Then the voice replies, "I am pregnant with Jeremiah's baby"
I quickly recognize that voice and it's none other than Keisha. The same Keisha I thought I could trust with my life. The same Keisha who went behind my back and had sex with my man.
I swallow the knot in my throat as I say, "Who exactly am I speaking with?"
"It's me, Keisha" she says sniffing. "I just wanted to call to let you know I am 6 weeks pregnant with Jeremiah's baby. He promised me that he'd leave you and start a family with me. But, the night after your anniversary, he came over to my house and we had sex, as we always did. If I'm being honest we never really stopped. He told me what happened between you two that night. So, we decided we wanted to be happy together and a few days ago I found out I was pregnant and told him and he said I couldn't tell you because he was just starting to get back in good with you. So, here I am telling you, I am pregnant with his baby.

Jaw dropped. Left speechless. I just hung up the phone. All I could do was cry, cry until I could physically turn into tears.

My sister heard the entire conversation. I could both anger and embarrassment on their face. If I'm being honest neither of them really fancied Jeremiah, especially since what he has put me through. My younger sister Jalon, who is practically a mini me, didn't like him because he was too "flashy." Like girl what do you know about that? My older sister Raina, who is just me in a different body, didn't like him because "he didn't have good energy" when he first met my family. 

As I sat there crying out of embarrassment. All I hear is "Yo... Yo... Jasmine!!!"
I snap out of it and it's my firecracker little sister getting dressed and ready to fight Keisha.
"Let's go beat her ass" said Jalon as she began to tie her hair up looking crazy as ever. Both Raina and I looked at each other and all we could do is laugh. We knew damn well she wasn't going to fight no one, we weren't raised like that. Man, I tell you it's amazing having sisters you can trust.
"Girl sit your ass down, you know you can't fight" said Raina
"That don't matter that Keisha girl better watch it next time I see her" Jalon said as she practiced her fighting moves. She looked as crazy as she wanted to be.
After wiping the snot from my nose and the crust out of my eyes, I finally gathered some words to make sense of all this madness.
"Literally what just happened? Like one minute I'm happy and the next minute Keisha drops the bomb on me that she pregnant."
"Six damn weeks at that!" Raina chimed in.
"What are you gonna do, Jas?" Jalon pressed on.
"What Jasmine is going to do is dump that two timing no good nigga, Jeremiah. No if, and, or buts about it. You will not be somebody's step momma not at this age, hell no. Did you not remember what happened with Hakeem and I?  You better check it."
"Raina I am not getting back with Jeremiah. That bitch can have him I don't care. I will find someone else that loves and cherishes me. Too bad that was three years down the drain..." I tried to put on a brave face for my sisters, but they knew me all too well.
They stare, eyes full of sorrow and despair. I could tell they were on eggshells and didn't want to say the wrong things.
During times like these all you could really do is think with your heart. You can't even lead with your mind because it's not even in the right place. 

Sitting there for a few moments. The tears begin to swell up and lodge in my throat. Not being able to fully grasp the news I heard. I so desperately wanted it to be a dream. But, no this was my reality. My childhood bestfriend having a baby with my boyfriend. If I told anyone else they wouldn't even believe me, this honestly sucks.
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For the next few days, I stayed in my room and just cried. The radio was playing "So Sick" at the worse possible time ever. I turned off all the lights in my room, closed the windows and the shades. I needed time to myself. As "I'm so sick of love song, so tired of tears" drifted throughout the room. I just read all the love letters Jeremiah had wrote me. I picked up the very first one as it reads: