Thirteen (Book One)

Chapter Two

October 2016
I've been living at 'Angie's' for a while now. I think it's going fairly well.
Neither of the girls are here anymore. It's just 'Angie's' two sons, 'Daniel" and 'Cole'.
I never really related much with the youngest son, 'Cole'. We're the same age, him being a few months older than me, but...we were never too close. He is still like a child in many ways and usually plays with my younger brother. I'm just more grown up than him, more mature. So, it's been easier for me to bond with 'Daniel', the oldest son, who is sixteen. We even smoke weed together.

The first time we smoked together, he and I went to the store for a walk. That's what we told his mother, too.
He took out a pipe and we sat on a bench on the side of a path surrounded by some trees. He showed me how to properly inhale. He said to breathe the smoke in like I'm taking a breath of air, so that's what I've been doing.
We moved places to sit at another spot. We smoked again there, then we went to the store to grab chips and drinks. After the store, we walked back to the smoke spot to sit down and talk.
We talk about a lot of things, but 'Daniel' always seems so interested in what's been going on with me. He asks me a lot about how I feel in general, why I've been acting out, why I've tried to kill myself, why I cut...it just seems like he wants to know everything.
At least he asks...and, when I answer...he actually listens.
A part of me assumes that our parents put him up to this, but I still talk to him about it. I have no idea if he reports it back to our parents or not.

Mid October 2016
The opportunity to go to my dad's house is here and I'm taking it.
I don't want to be around my mother. I don't want to be under her control. I don't have a social life outside of school...at all. Things are good with 'Angie', but I just want more freedom. I'm not even living with my mom, why does it matter where I am?
At least, with my dad...I might be able to have more of a life. Living with my mom's friend makes it so that she still has control over most of what I do.
The only reason I get to smoke weed with 'Daniel' is because no one else knows about it.

It feels like a warrant is out for my arrest...but that's just me being dramatic.
In reality, I think people are just keeping an eye out for me. My mom has reported me missing, even though she knows exactly where I am.
I really don't understand this! My mom doesn't want me in her house, but if she can't control my life, she calls the cops on me. She wants me gone...but still wants control and a say over everything I do, and I think that's what drives me crazy the most.

October 31, 2016
It's felt great to have friends, to have freedom...being allowed to hang out with other people.
This is the first Halloween that I get to roam freely.

We're at Savannah's house right now, she's been friends with me for almost two years now.
We have our entire group here. The good thing about my new best friend is that she knows my old friend group, the group from my old school.
But, as always...there's some sort of drama.
To be completely honest, I'm high as fuck right now and I haven't been paying much attention. I have no idea what everyone is fighting about, I'm just following the group out to the street...next thing I know, Savannah's clocking one of the boys in the haw. It was Cordell.
Everyone starts getting rowdy, yelling at each other. My high ass gasps then bursts out laughing. Probably not a good time to do that. Everyone seems pissed.
They're all just screaming at each other as the group starts to split. I decide to go with whoever's leaving Savannah's house. To be honest, I just want an adventure tonight. So, if people are walking around...I'm gonna go with them.

The night ends worse than it began.
One of my old friends starts to flirt with me. If us being friends didn't already make that awkward, the fact that he has a history with my new best friend makes it that much worse. They have a history. I don't want to ruin this friendship, and I don't want to ruin another potential friendship. So, I don't engage.
As the night continues, four of us walk around and continue to smoke. The boys are ranting right now, talking about my new best friend.
Apparently, she's been flirting with someone that I openly have a crush on...someone she claims is like her brother.
"What?" I ask after they bring this up.
"Yeah, I'm still logged into her shit. I get all of the notifications."
I'm reading all of the screenshots. I can't believe this. Talking about wanting to kiss each other or whatever. Then why didn't you just say that?
This makes me so mad, so upset. But...whatever. Fuck it. I've only been friends with this girl for a month...it's nothing. She doesn't owe me shit and I don't owe her shit. Why would I follow the whole "girl code" shit when she's been lying this whole time? I've openly expressed how I feel about this guy...and she sat there listening, saying "go for it"...telling me he's like a brother to her while this whole time she's behind my back talking about kissing him! The fuck?
Taking this new information and growing angrier the more I think about it...I decide to engage in the flirting.
As I said, the night ended worse than it started.