✅ The Last New Start [NaNoWriMo2021]

100. Hopeful

"You know it's not going to be... wait, what? Did I miss a memo?"

"Something got me thinking what if Spike turned out to be a jerk like my cousin seems to think. And I realised I wouldn't care. Anything he want, it would be worth it for me. I'd be happy with anything."

"So you two are actually dating now?"

"Not quite. Kind of. Like..." Tess realised too late that she hadn't even explained their complicated understanding to anyone else, which rendered what she'd actually said a lot less profound. "It's like, I like him so much I'll have the time of my life so long as he's around, no matter what we're doing. And he said something pretty similar. We might not be doing all the stuff you're supposed to do for dating, but it's got to mean something that we just want to be together, right?"

"Sounds like true love," Ashli smirked, making Tess jump. She hadn't even realised she was there. "So does knowing that make every kiss sweeter?"

"We..." Tess started, embarrassment welling up. But if she fell apart and said something stupid, she knew it would be embarrassing Spike too. And she couldn't let herself do that. She needed to show some maturity, and stop being all giggly and overwhelmed by emotion. "Well, I don't know. We didn't kiss yet, it doesn't seem that important, so long as we're together. But we did already..."

She paused, and glanced around furtively, as if imparting some big secret. Liz, Ashli, and Chloe all leaned in, eager to hear this scandalous revelation. Tess let the tension build for several seconds, playing up her own nervousness about the confession, and how eager she was to make sure they weren't overheard. Everybody was on the edge of their seats now, probably with their own guesses about what she was about to say.

"... hold hands!"

The tension dissolved into laughter, and she could tell that her closest friends couldn't believe that they had been so gullible. She was also sure that Ashli at least thought they might have done something more than their confession; but none of them had any idea what had really been on Tess's mind.

The conversation moved on quickly enough, possibly because nobody was really sure how much of her confession had been for real. But for the rest of the day, it was hard to stop thinking about Spike, what he could do for her, and what she was willing to do for him.

It seemed like the world had changed completely, in ways she couldn't put her finger on. Spike was on her mind, always. She didn't stop smiling, even when Mindy Ciertowczki and a new group of her followers appeared to insult Tess and put her down.

"Okay, humans," she said with a quiet smile, and went back to talking to her friends. Mindy seemd bemused, and her new sidekick enraged, but there was nothing they could say to get Tess down today; and they could barely manage to get her attention, which infuriated them more than any insult.

It wasn't until after school that Tess's mind started to fill with worries again. As she waited for the bus, she wondered if Spike would be waiting for her. It was quite possible; Ffrances had said that he would be welcome to stay in her office if his family somehow noticed the new passport, and in that case he might be catching the bus that Tess normally took. But she wasn't getting on a school bus today; she was going via the front office to get a coupon for the regular bus to Greater Ashfields, like the small number of students who came from the opposite side of the big town.

The whole way there she was nervous, wondering what she would have to say. She'd already been a couple of days before, but had only seen a nurse who consulted a diagnostic flowchart. That led to some blood samples and an uncomfortable swab, and then a second appointment.

The bus had ordinary people on it; going shopping, or visiting relatives. Tess showed her voucher, got it stamped, and then took a seat near the front, away from the rest of the Raybridge uniforms. She didn't know if there would be anybody she knew on this bus, but she didn't want to take the risk.

She took the appointment card out of her pocket and studied it again. It was just a green rectangle with a grid of boxes. Each row had a date and time. The first one said "Nurse" beside it, while the second said "Phelps". It didn't say Ashfields District Confidential Clinic anywhere on it, or give an indication what it was for. There was a small map on the back giving directions to a building on the outskirts of Greater Ashfields from the nearest bus stop or from the train station, but there was no way that a friend or parent finding this could know what it was for.

"Things going well with Spike then?"

Tess jolted up and panicked, trying to ram the incriminating green card back into her pocket, but Ashli had already seen it. Still, that wasn't such a big deal.

"Huh? Yeah, but..."

"No need to be so embarrassed. I see lots of girls with those. And most times it's a good thing, right? Unless you already–"

"No!" Tess squeaked, finding the embarrassment creeping up on her where she had least expected it. She knew exactly what Ashli had assumed, and she didn't want anybody to think that she was seeing the doctor about birth control; or any of the other things that could be hypothetical results of getting closer to her boyfriend. "It's not that! It's just... it's a little bit embarrassing, and I'm living with my cousin now, and her girlfriend knows most of the local doctors, and... I just don't want her knowing every detail whenever I'm sick, right? She treats me like a baby anyway, and I want some independence."

"No worries. But damn, you get flustered. It's no big deal, I mean I went there with a weird rash when the only woman doctor at our local practice was off sick. It's not all sex stuff."

Tess shook her head. She didn't know Ashli that well, but thinking people might assume that had almost given her a heart attack. Why would she be so upset about people thinking Spike was her boyfriend? She even hoped that it might be true at some point in the future. If, of course, the clinic could find some pill or potion that would stop her wetting the bed.

She got off the bus and followed the map on the back of the green card, hoping that this visit would be more productive than her first.