short stories♡

„the storm inside" [english!] (old - but translated)

//TW thoughts of suicide//

The rain was cold, not a person was out here. And me ? I thought about my pathetic life.
What did I ever achieved ?
Nothing
To whom did I ever mean something ?
Nobody
Where could I go to ?
Nowhere

These well-known questions came into my head, bringing me to a new downpoint in my life, again.
I got up. And run. Run and run.
Through the forest, over the road, farther and farther, until I came to a bridge
I leaned over the railing, looked down into the torrential waters, even more dangerous than usual, because of the storm.

But still, it was nothing compared to the storm inside me.
A hurricane made of emotions. Misery and Suffer.

I didn't thought longer about it and climbed over the railing

Everything should just end.

And it did.
The rain stopped.
The sun tried to defeat the heavy clouds, desperately.
I looked up, watched the fight.
Suddenly, the sun wins.
Warm sunshine covered my face.

My mind seems starting to work again.

Would giving up help at all ?

I already was at my lowest point. That means, it can't get worse, couldn't it ?
I have to wait of good times, but they will come one day.
I wasn't weak.
I wouldn't give up.
Slowly I climbed back over the realing.

My phone rings.
As I looked on the screen I spotted the name of my only friend here.
We met each other in holidays years ago.
She lives far away from here.

The question came back.
But the answers changed.

I had a wonderful friend.
I meant something to her.
I could go to her.

The idea was probably setted years ago, and now the fire was alight.

I went home, packed my back, drove to the next flight station and bought a ticket for the next flight to her.

3 years later

I sat in my friends living room, thought back to this day, back to the questions inside of my head.
One last time.

What did I ever achieved ?
I made a fresh start.
To whom did I ever mean something ?
To the friends I found here, the nice lady who lives nextdoor to my amazing friend and beloved partner.
Where could I go to ?
I didn't need to go anywhere.
Here was perfectly right.
Here was my place in the world.
Here, I would always be welcome.