"Unrequited love does not die; it's only beaten down to a secret place where it hides, curled and wounded. For some unfortunates, it turns bitter and mean, and those who come after pay the price for the hurt done by the one who came before."
If aske...
Sometimes taehyung really makes me wonder, if he could love someone so much without them loving him back, how much will he love someone who will return his love? It's crazy that I want to be that person. I want him to love me someday so I could show him what being loved is. I want to give him all the happiness he deserves, maybe more than that. I want to spoil him in every way I can. Shower him with love, kisses, cuddles. Someday marry him.
His routine was the same - study hard, complete homework, assignments. Gladly I was part of his routine too. We study together, cook together, eat together, watch Netflix, play video games in which I would always let him win, well winning doesn't make me that happy the way his smile does. Then we talk about Jimin till Jimin calls him and they talk for hours. I just keep listening to them talk, laugh and flirt at times.
It was a normal day as always, he was talking to Jimin, laughing, giggling. I kept on scrolling my youtube to find something interesting to watch till he finished the call. Not that I was paying attention to what I was seeing when my all ears were on what they're talking about. Suddenly there was silence. I thought they finally said bye and it's my turn to get his whole attention but then, I saw tears rolling down his cheeks. He was still talking to Jimin with tears in his eyes.. I walked towards him and tried to ask what happened? He mouthed wait, so I did what he told me to do. They talked and I got more worried as the tears never stopped. Finally Tae said bye to Jimin and started crying loudly. I tried comforting him but nothing seemed to work. He kept on crying, it's not the first time he cried for him, but today he looked broken. And that breaks my heart. I really wish that bitch jimin was here. I could have killed him for making Tae cry.
He kept on crying and crying till he passed out, he was drained emotionally and physically. I carried him to my bed as I didn't want him to sleep alone in this condition. I wiped his dry tears. Made him comfortable in bed, covered him with blankets, and kept a lot of pillows as I know how he loves cuddling his pillows. I joined him in the bed, I kept on seeing his angelic face. After some time I pulled him close to me, kissed his forehead and cuddled him and slept. It was midnight when I woke up. He was still sleeping but I couldn't sleep. I kept on staring at him, admiring his facial features. He's a model for a reason. Now I understand why he chose to be a model. Who wouldn't pay for such a handsome face and personality? And who wouldn't want to see him? He's a loved model after all. He looked beyond perfect. So many times I thought of confessing my love to him all this month. So many times I almost confessed my feelings but covered it up somehow. I know how much he loves Jimin. If I confess my feelings to him, I'll lose the friendship I have with him and I can't risk that. I'll tell him my feelings one day but till then I'll be by his side just like now.
Oops! Bu görüntü içerik kurallarımıza uymuyor. Yayımlamaya devam etmek için görüntüyü kaldırmayı ya da başka bir görüntü yüklemeyi deneyin.
I woke up at noon and he was still sleeping. I quickly got ready and went to the kitchen to cook something for us. It's already noon so we have almost missed half of the lectures, so why not all? After some time he joined me in the kitchen, we didn't talk much as I think he was embarrassed to talk about what happened yesterday and even I didn't pressurise, knowing when he'll be okay to share what happened with me he'll tell me. I respected his decision and I'll wait patiently till he opens up. I joked around to lighten the mood and made him laugh. We took a small nap again. I tried my best to keep him distracted and away from the phone. It was evening and I was in the kitchen cooking dinner for us when he disappeared for some time. I thought he wanted some breather so he was at the balcony, enjoying the evening view. After sometime I walked to look for him and he was nowhere to be found. I walked towards his room and there was shower on sound so I walked away but then I heard a cry and that exact minute I knew what was happening in shower I quickly ran in, he was under shower, all wet, crying. God he looked so different. He was a crying mess. I always saw Taehyung as a bubbly, laughing, fun loving person but this guy in front of me was totally broken. I had tears in my eyes. He was naked but all I could look at was his eyes, the pain. I quickly grabbed a towel and covered him and took him out with me. I helped him with his clothes. I know he had no appetite but yet made him eat a little coz I knew he was on the verge of passing out. I carried him to the bed and I cuddled him. He hugged me tight, he was still crying. I never saw him this fragile.
Days went by, and I saw a different Taehyung these days. The mask Taehyung always wore of being strong, emotionless was 24*7 on. He knew I could see through him yet he pretended to be someone else, maybe it was his defence mechanism. We were almost back to our normal lives. He still used to talk to Jimin but not that often. He started spending more time out at parties, hooking up and making new friends. He also started spending more time with me, since those incidents we got closer, whenever he's not able to sleep at night, he gets into my bed and sleeps cuddling me and who am I to stop him? I hug him tight. We have shared bed uncountable times but we never tried crossing our line. Not that i don't want to but i want to confess my feelings to him and then make love and for him i think he doesn't want to ruin what's between us - as he always says I'm his safe place.
Graduation Day -
Finally the D-day. I really made a concerted effort to get here. And here I am getting rewarding results for the hard work I've put in. Me and Taehyung are graduating today. We had made so many plans after we graduated and apply for a job in the same company. I'm so glad to see our results. He asked me if I wanted to meet his parents as they wanted to meet me to which I agreed. He said he'll send the address and we all can meet up for lunch. He wanted to spend some time with his family roaming around Seoul and I wanted to give some privacy to them. I was before the time at the restaurant. I was excited and nervous at the same time, not that I'm talking to them for the first time. I have talked to them several times on the phone along with Taehyung, but meeting them face to face was way different. I feel like an excited kid who is gonna meet his crush's parents for the first time or a mature man who is gonna ask for his son's hand for marriage to his parents. Finally they walked in and I snapped out of all the thoughts. I really did a pep talk before meeting them so I left a good impression. I greeted them and we had our lunch with small talks here and there. I never had parents so seeing him with his parents made me want one too. His mom could read my eyes and thoughts and was able to see through me. Mom always knows everything, I thought. She was so kind and gentle just like his son. Now I know where he got this from. She asked me if she could call me sometime, address me as son, about what I like to eat so next time she could get it for me. I was so touched by her love and attention. Finally it was time to say goodbye. We all hugged each other and parted our ways with the promise of meeting soon again.
