Give Me Hope || {twd} ➳ book two of the hope series.

Chapter Sixteen.

"its all your fault! you could have saved them!" there was a tall figure standing in front of me, whom i thought was my father. he was dressed in a black tuxedo, and his hair was slicked back. the transparent figures of atlantis and my mother stood on either side of him, the two of them not saying a word.
"n-no i couldn't." i shook my head at the mans words, stepping back.
he stepped towards me, and i nearly toppled over. "yes it is! maybe if you weren't such a self absorbed bitch, and cared about something more than yourself, you could have!" his words he spat were like icicles, long and spiked ones that zoomed at me, piercing into every inch of my body, painfully.
the tears were now streaming down my face, as i continued to shake my head.
"joelle, you know this is your fault. just give it up!" the man lunged at me, and i could now see the anger in his eyes.
right as i felt his hands meet my neck, his body turned to black dust, that matched the black room around me. the dust floated to the ground, as the loud noise of his voice echoed through the room, as the pitch ricocheted through my ears.
i clenched my eyes shut as my body fell to the floor.
********
"joelle... joelle wake up." my eyes fluttered open to meet carls.
"w-what are you doing?" i asked reluctantly, trying to move away, but failed. my head throbbed, and my stomach ached. my hands were cold, and it felt as if my body was numb.
"you passed out. and from what you said yesterday, i thought i should be the one to be here when you woke up." he trailed off, his hand on my forehead whilst pushing the hair out of my face.
"i-im sorry. i cant do this." i pushed myself up from the bed, walking out of the room.
"joey, stop!" carl said, jogging after me.
i shook my head and continued to walk, exiting the unfamiliar house.
carl caught up to me and grabbed my shoulder roughly, spinning me around.
"stop." i said shoving him away.
"no. i wont stop." he replied, pushing my hands away.
"what does it matter to you anyway? you dont care." the words rolled off my tongue evilly, even though i didn't know why i was saying them.
"i dont care? i dont care, joelle? is that what you think?!" he was now yelling, and i looked down, the tears welling in my eyes. "look at me."
i looked up, playing with the button on my shirt.
"i found the record the other day. the one you sang to me." his voice was now softer, but his eyes showed anger. "i played it, and i realized.... I realized that i want you back. i cant live without you joelle. you're all i have."
"you have lydia." i said quietly, looking down again.
"but i dont want lydia... i want you."
i looked up to meet his eyes, half covered by his hat.
"please, joey."
i wrapped my arms around his waist, laying my head against his chest.
he held me tightly, and placed his chin on top of my head.
i stepped back hesitantly, shaking my head.
"i-i cant." i bite my lip, walking in the other direction, leaving carl alone.