WYNNIE
"Trippy, where are you?" I mumbled to myself, pacing in front of her doorway uncomfortably as I waited for her to answer. I had been here for about fifteen minutes already, and the sun was beating down. The air still wasn't frosty enough for it to be November but the humidity was starting to trinkle away, thank goodness.
I awkwardly smiled at someone passing by and internally screamed for Trippy to come to the door. Starra absolutely refused to wait outside until I was sure that she was even here. So instead, I was sent out to see if Trippy would even give me the decency of a response through the door while Starra got to enjoy air conditioning.
"Hello?"
"Finally," I said, pushing past her.
Initially, I had planned on turning back and going downstairs to tell Starra whenever Trippy opened the door, but now I was sweaty and tired. A text would suffice.
"Sorry, I um, was taking a long shower."
"It's fine. Starra's coming up," I told her. I immediately found my way to the bathroom and dried off my armpits with some paper towels, and wiped down my face with another one. I borrowed some of Trippy'a cologne and lightly spritzed it over myself before coming out of the bathroom feeling like a better woman.
"Heyyy," Starra was entering the apartment as I came out into the living room. I sat down on the couch, kicking my feet up. Starra and Trippy were more like casual friends, so she still sat down stiffly and looked as out of place as she probably felt.
"What you up for, Trippy? A movie? Some board games?" I asked, trying to ignore her cheek.
"What happened to your cheek?"
Well dang, Starra.
"Someone- uh, just bad facial routine," Trippy lied.
I shot her a look but picked up her fire stick remote. "Let's see what Amazon Prime got cookin' today. And speaking of cooking, what are you gonna feed us? Because Starra promised me lunch and you ruined that for me," I complained.
"Wait, wait, wait. First of all, let's talk about what happened in Houston? Where's Khangela? Is she really dead, because they aren't releasing much on the news. And what happened?"
I sucked in a deep breath, looking down at my lap as Trippy sunk into another part of the couch, kind of further from the both of us. "Nothing. Just- Just leave it alone," she sighed.
"Sorry. I know she was your girlfriend. I was just being nosy, forgive me, Evelyn," Starra laughed a little. She leaned over to rub Trippy's shoulder. "We can do whatever you want today."
"The fuck," Trippy aggressively jerked Starra's hand off of her. "I don't want people treating me like some glass object. So, my girlfriend died. That doesn't mean people have to walk on eggshells around me or drill me about what happened at the hotel. I'm not fucking amusement or another person on the news. I'm actually a human."
"Trippy, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-
"Sorry. I'm just," Trippy held her face in her hands for about a few minutes. I didn't know whether to speak or not, so Starra and I silently stared at her.
"I'm just fucked up."
"And rightfully so. Experience those emotions. Let them out," I advised, "since I supposedly keep mine in," I added, trying to give Trippy a soft smile.
Her eyes met mine and I knew that my best friend was truly hurting on the inside. "C'mere," I said softly, but before I even gave her a chance to follow my directions, I started walking and embraced her halfway.
"The one time...the one time," she repeated over and over, whispering into my shoulder. "The one time I put my heart out there and shoot for love...I miss."
"I know. I know. I'm so sorry," I whispered to her, patting her back as we clung to each other. My mind went back to us embracing after the hotel incident, in front of the ambulances.
"I got your back."
"I got your back too," she whispered.
After Trippy's random outburst, we eased back into our plans and decided on some light movie watching and card games. Starra and I got home around six, my feet tired from dancing to kids exercise videos and my throat sore from screaming out Uno.
I started taking clothes off as soon as I went through the door. My phone ringing was what stopped me and I picked it up to see that it was my mother.
"Hey, Mom."
"You only answer your phone when you're in drama?" my mother said as soon as I answered. A few months in the Caribbean for her work thing and she already had a slight accent and a stronger personality to go with it.
"I was gonna call you, today's just been so ugh."
"Are you okay? Do I need to come back home?"
"No, it's fine. I'll keep you updated on everything that happens with the case," I told her.
"Case! So the girl did die," she exclaimed, shocked.
"Yeah. She did."
"Well, I'm sorry, Wynnie. How's school been?"
All the homework I haven't done, all the not caring I've been doing. That all popped into my head in that moment. "Um, it's been going well. Yeah, it's good."
"That's good. My pole dancing classes are doing pretty well. I just did a workshop and decided I'd be the one to make the first move in calling my daughter since she couldn't be bothered to," my mother said dramatically.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," I fake cried.
"How's Evelyn doing? Starra and them?"
"Oh, they're doing good," I let my words trail off, eyeing my bra on the ground. Come on woman, I'm trying to relax in my bed tonight.
"Well, I won't distract you anymore. It's a different time here anyways."
"You still doing the 24 hour classes?"
"Yeah. I take an hour break between each of them and it somehow works for me. I make a lot of money because a lot of people have work and not everybody gets off at nine. Somebody out there might need a pole dancing class at one."
"Well, me on the other hand, ima enjoy my sleep. I hope you have fun, Mom. I gotta go."
"Alright, alright. I can tell when my child is trying to get me to stop prodding. Good night to you, Wynnie. Love you."
"Love you too."
As soon as she hung up I finished stripping my clothes off, I balled them up in my arms and threw them into my clothes hamper. I got some soft Lofi started and threw in a bath bomb.
The memory of seeing this girl bent over today moved through my head. I don't even remember what she was doing, I just remembered that she had an amazing arch. I closed my blinds, nakedly walking through my apartment. Shit, a free show if they wanted one.
I dipped my toe in the water then slid my body into the tub. Letting out a satisfied groan, I itched my braids through the shower cap.
So what am I and Trippy? Because she said she was going for this whole friends with benefits thing, yet I still feel more of the friend aspect than any of the benefits. I'm tired of being on the sidelines and watching her go for fems and people like Khangela. Why can't I ever be the first choice? Why do I always come second?
And who the fuck even is Kaia?
