Deja Vu

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🎶Deja Vu - Olivia Rodrigo
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JENNIE's POV
"Lets break up." I told him.

I saw how his tears began to fall.

"Nini, w-what h-happened?"

"Nothing. Let us not make things any harder for both of us. Goodbye Y/N." I said as I began to walk out of his apartment.

"P-please...didn't w-we promised that w-we would stay t-together for t-the rest of o-our l-lives?" Were his last words to me.

He has always been honest with his feelings. I saw him fell down on his knees as he pleaded for all of it to be some kind of a sick joke, but no, it is reality. It is our reality now.

The agency told me to break up with Y/N. I was about to debut and it will damage my image. So I did what I was told.

The two of us were childhood friends. And we started dating during the time we became teenagers. It was everything I hoped for. He is a well-mannered, handsome, and hard working guy. Who wouldn't fall for someone like him? He wouldn't have any problem finding someone much better than I'll ever be. A person who will fight for him and be by his side always.

And I was right.

I was able to debut. And during one of our fan meetings I saw him.

But he wasn't looking at me. His eyes were focused on someone else. I followed his line of sight and it landed on the the beautiful woman sitting right in front of Jisoo unnie. She is our fan.

Then my turn came.

I felt bad since I was unable to catch most of the things she said. How cruel of me. I only started listening when she mentioned that she came here today with her boyfriend. And it was none other than Y/N. No wonder why as he looked at her, his eyes were filled with love.

He is smiling. The same smile he would always give me everytime we were together. I can see how he was just standing there, patiently waiting for her. The same way he did for me back then. And once she came back to him, I noticed how the love-filled eyes intesified if that is even possible. And it was. He hugged her and I saw how she said something to him which made him grin, I recognize that expression, thats the face he made when he is about to tease someone. He began to pat her head and he too spoke a few words.

And I was watching the scene unfold, how the two of them looked perfect for each other. How lovely they looked together. How they can easily show their love towards each other even in front of many people, something we only did behind closed doors.

Did we look like that before as well?

Everything he does for her, reminds me of us back then. I bet he is even saying the same things to her, and doing the same things we did back then. Ha! I guess they're nothing special then, since I can perfectly remember those expressions. The same ones he gave to me. Yes, I am probably right...

My thoughts were then interrupted as I felt my manager tapped my shoulder. Though from time to time I would look on their direction, to see that they are still among the crowd, holding each others hand while talking.

I tried to be subtle as possible since I don't want anyone to worry. But deep down all I wanted to do was to get out of here and lock myself in my room. For what reason though? Wasn't it my fault anyway? Why do I feel shitty then? It was me who ended things between us. It was natural for him to find someone else, since its been so long. I don't have the right to put the blame on him or anything. It was my decision. It was me who, up until now, can't move on.

But I can't help it. I can't accept the fact that he is happy and after all these years I was still miserable. A part of me wishes for him to be reminded of the time we were still together and to still feel hurt by the mere memory of it. But he is fine. Unlike me he isn't in a sorry state.

It was childish of me to act like this. I let him slip through my fingers. I shouldn't blame him. Nor his girlfriend. Nor the agency. Since it was I who made the decision.

Before we say goodbye to our fans, I swear I saw him made eye contact with me and there was a smile on his face, and those dazzling eyes, captivated me once again. He is still as handsome as ever. To me, he is still the same. The same person I fell in love with and the same person whose heart I have broken. But to him, I am not. He found his happiness and its not with me.

Unconsciously I smiled as well.

Its been so long. He deserved to be happy, I have seen this coming but it still hurts. I saw him tugged his girlfriend's arm as he signalled for the two of them to go. She gave a nod and I watched as they disappear in the crowd, but the things I have seen this day would plague my mind for a long time.

I wanted to tell him, so many things. That I am sorry for what I did, that I hope at times I would cross his mind, and that I still love him the same way I did back then. How foolish.

I can't do that though.

Hopefully, in the future when there is a chance.

But for now, this is my reality.
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A/N: Hello! Hope you liked it... what thoughts do you have???

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