Jennie Ruby Jane

Can I Be Him?

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🎶Can I be him? - James Arthur
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Y/N's POV
Jennie.

She is my good friend.

Wait. I take that back, that is what I am to her.

But to me, Jennie is my everything.

Back then I didn't know I can still fall in love after everything I went through. But it was ultimately proven wrong since I met her. I have been in love with Jennie since the first time we met. How can I not though? She is nice (contrary to what other people say), pretty, talented, and kind. Though at times she can be annoying and petty. But nonetheless I love her.

So much.

Others would often tease us as well, that we look good together but we would simply brush it off.

Because to Jennie, I am nothing but a 'friend'.

The guy who keeps on annoying the hell out of her. The guy who would steal her food. The guy who would always choose her side. The guy who would always wish for her happiness. The guy watching at the sidelines as she confessed to the man of her dreams.

Yep. That's me!

I listened to her as she gush about him. The way her eyes lit up every damn time his name is mentioned. She can talk for hours when it is about him for sure, like how they first bumped into each other, the time they accidentally held hands, or whatever it is that involves him.

"Oh, and you know he called me Mandu the other daaaaaay! Like how did he knew about that nickname?" Jennie squealed in delight and embarrasment.

"Because everyone calls you that?" I replied sarcastically as I munched on some potato chips.

Jennie simply rolled her eyes.

"Fine, fine. Maybe I am just being dramatic. But the way he said it was really cuteeee!"

Jennie kept on talking about their so called conversations. It has always been like this. Ever since she fell for him. She'd talk and talk and talk. The guy doesn't even like her and he keeps on brushing her off, keeps on turning down her advances. I wasn't really paying that much attention and she probably noticed because a plushie went straight to my face.

"What the hell?!"

"That's for not paying attention to me, you jerk!" Jennie said as she made faces.
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Months passed as the two of them miraculously began to date. Looks like her efforts paid off. And during that time I was left miserable by myself. But my misery doubled, whenever I see Jennie crying because of him. Then he'd apologize. She will forgive him. And then they'd fight, make up. And the cycle repeats.

Ugh. What does she see about that guy anyway?

One time we were hanging out together at her house. Ever since they started dating, I kinda distanced myself as a form of respect, but they got into a fight, and being the good friend I am, I went to her just to make sure that she is not gonna do any thing stupid.

"And then I saw her with a girl! But he said they were just friends, but I think there is more to it but he firmly denies it." She said as I handed her some tissues.

I let her rant for quite sometime and after Jennie was able to calm down I began to speak my mind.

"Nini," I called her "why are you still with him if all you do is fight?"

Jennie didn't answer.

"Hey, I asked you a question you know."

Another silence.

I don't know what made me say these words. Perhaps seeing her break down every time this happens pisses me off.

"Break up with him." I said as I looked at her.

She blinked a few times clearly taken aback by what I said. Jennie wiped a few tears and it looks she was about to answer.

"Because I love him. I still do."

I scoffed and said "That's full of crap."

"Excuse me?" Jennie retorted as she glared at me. "Well, sorry Mr. 'I Am Perfect I Don't Need Anybody' but that is how I feel."

"So its worth going through all these troubles just because of that? Pfft."

"Yes. Yes it is."

"Then why cry?"

"I don't think you know how emotions works."

"I do know though. And just so you know, your state right now is really pathetic. The two of you kept on fighting over the same things all over again. Haven't you had enough? Haven't you learned enough? Come on Nini, use your head for once." I said angrily. Both of us are now standing and our voice both raised.

"You asked and I answered. And now you're mocking me? Okay listen here Y/N. I love him. Oh but that's hard for you to understand right? Since to you, love is nothing but a lame excuse, an excuse to find their worth through other people! You know what, I don't know why I am explaining anything to you anyway. Just go home already."

"Fine. But don't go running to me after he breaks your heart, again." I said as I slammed the door.
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I quickly left her house, instead of going home right away, I went for a walk. Its not new to have arguments with Jennie, but arguments about her love life angers the hell out of me. Obviously because I like her. No, I love her. And of course she doesn't know about that. I have never taken the risk of telling her after all.

I was now laying on my bed. But I can't sleep. A lot of what ifs are running in my head. Before I knew it, morning came and I had to go to school once again.

"Ugh, I better apologize to Jennie."
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As I arrived at the school I quickly went to look for Jennie. I finally found her at the school's garden. But to my dismay she was there with him. They were hugging each other. He had his arms wrapped around her waist, and hers on his neck. The guy then kissed Jennie's forehead as they look at each other lovingly.

Looks like they made up.

And then again will fight.

And I'll be here watching as tears once again run down her cheeks.

I can't blame Jennie. All I can blame is myself. For being a coward. For not telling her.

Now all I can do is watch her from afar, and continue to imagine how things would have played if I was the one holding her in my arms.
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A/N: Thank you for reading!