Purity- a Salvis story (completed)

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"Travis? 'You in here?"

"Please just leave me alone." My voice sounded raw and ugly. You could definitely tell I was crying. I swallowed the shame as best I could, but it was a hell of a lot harder to stop the tears after they'd already started.

I threw my head back into the wall, folding the pocket knife and sliding it into my pocket. He was making the guilt about 20 times worse. I grabbed some toilet paper as quietly as possible to soak up the small red beads making their way through the blistering skin on my side.

Sal lowered himself to the ground, sitting with his back against the wall adjacent to the stall door. Great. I watched him nervously pick at his nails through the crack.

"Are you ok, Travis?" He asked.

It was different than how he had said it outside. It sounded like he really wanted to know. I couldn't remember the last time someone over the age of ten had asked me that question and meant it. More involuntary tears found themselves on the tile.

"Fine. Why do you care?" Was all I could muster. I knew I was being a dick but I didn't know how else to get him to leave me alone. The Leatherman in my pocket was still calling my name.

"Because Im a human being. I don't understand what I did wrong, dude. Why do you hate me so much?"

"Because. I'm not all buddy-buddy with faggots. It's sick. It's not right. God will never love you, why should I?" I tried to spit my words like dad does but through my tears it just sounded pathetic.

"You don't even know whether I'm gay or not." He shot back. So he wasn't. Those words felt like a stab. I didn't want to think about why.

"Is- is your father pushing this shit on you." He asked, again, with sympathy in his voice.

Perfect. Something else I didn't want to think about.

"Why? Because he's a deacon? He doesn't fucking own me."

"Of course not. But I saw the way you looked at him, man. You shouldn't be scared of your own dad. I mean... being the son of such an intense man... I bet it's really hard."

"You have no idea." I mumbled, not sure he even heard me.

"Then tell me. Nothing leaves this room. Well, stall, I guess." Great. He had heard.

I thought about it for a second. It really would feel amazing to get everything off my chest. I never told anyone about dad before. I had to honor my father, after all. Plus, I didn't really have friends back at Saint Dominic's and even though Aggie knew, she was just a kid. It's not like I could have a heart to heart with her about it. Staying strong 24/7 was fucking exhausting. I don't know what about Sal made me want to open up to him so bad.

...but I couldn't. If he knew he'd tell someone. I couldn't do that to Ag. Dad say cps rips families apart, that theirs no guarantee that Aggie and I would end up in the same house and that we would probably end up with someone worst than him or someone who wouldn't let us pray or something. Plus, who knows what dad would do before they could get us out of the house. I would get the shit beat out of me everyday if it meant staying with my sister. She needs me.

"I don't need your sympathy, Sal. Or your help." I wished I could stop crying.

"I think you do. And that's not a bad thing. I don't want to be your enemy. I don't think you're the person I've talked to all day. You shouldn't be going through whatever you are alone but I can't help if you don't tell me the situation."

I felt more tears come to my eyes. I was really wanted to talk to him. I was so fucking tired of keeping it together.

"I... I can't. You don't know what'll happened if people think he hits us. Wich he doesn't."

"Us?"

"My sister, Agnes, and I. She just turned eight."

"Don't you think you owe it to her to get her help."

"I am helping her. Do you know what foster care is like? At least here I can take her punishments or distract him."

"Yeah, but at least you wouldn't be getting... 'punished' like that in foster care." He said.

He had no idea what he was talking about. Dad told us our entire lives that discipline in the foster care system was far worse than his. That there was no way out.

"You don't get it." I pointed out.

"Well I'm trying to." His voice... he really sounded like he cared.

"I don't understand why you're being so nice to me. I've been a dick to you since I got here."

"Because I don't think you really hate me."

"I don't think so either." I muttered, half hoping he didn't hear me.

"Thanks, man. That means a lot." Apparently he did.

"Hey, do you want to skip with me the rest of the day? We can drive around and just... talk about something a little less intense. I mean, unless you want to stick to the bathroom floor." He quipped. I could hear the smile in his voice.

It was a hell of a tempting offer but if dad found out... I didn't even want to think about the repercussions of skipping my first day of school.

"Won't we get in trouble?" I questioned.

"I'll have a friend of mine fuck with the attendance sheet. He's real good with computers. You should see what he did to my GearBoy. Plus no ones gonna notice your not there on your 1st day. I can drive if you're in. And if not, we can go out some other time. I'd really like to spend more time with you." He laughed. He had a nice laugh. For a guy.

I thought about it for a second. My options were A: go on a drive with a guy I really wanted to be around or B: go to class all day. Seemed obvious, right? I mean, what's the worst that could happen?

I lifted myself off the bathroom floor, throwing the wad of toilet paper I had been holding to my hip in the waste basket and pulling down my sweater.

"I'm in."

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