Cole

Homelife

A man walked up to me with a smile on his face. "Our fighters are being refreshed for the next day of battle. It is good. It enhances our bravery, and is a gift of God. These women have come to help our good cause."

"But there are not that many girls here and many more men", I said.

"No, this is not a problem", he said. "We have a mulla here that can grant temporary divorces to the husbands of these wives so the women can be shared. At the end there is great celebration and the women are reunited in marriage to the husbands. We all sacrifice for God".

"You have come at a good time", he continued. "I have been told that you have been trained enough to enter battle soon. It seems from how you are talking to me that you have not been with a woman for a while or at all. It is time to be a man. Come with me."

I had already felt uneasy about this situation and was very nervous. The man put his arm around my shoulder and led me through a door entering the building. There were a number of separate smaller rooms in the structure which must have been a house at some point. The walls were made of mud or stucco and floors were dirt with carpets thrown over them. There was moaning and breathing coming from the rooms around me and there were men outside in a larger room in what appeared to be a waiting area that were rubbing the crotches of their pants in anticipation.

I began to sweat in profusion. I really did not want to be here. My heart was pounding in my chest and the moaning and now pounding sounds coming from the rooms were making me nauseous. Suddenly a girl cried out.

I awoke.

I found myself lying in my bed covered with sweat. I was angry. I wanted to kill somebody. I lay there for some time. My heart began to cool down.

Then I heard the moaning and pounding again. 'How can that be?', I wondered. I was no longer in a Jihad dream. I laid their still for a while and heard it again. It was coming from outside my room. My clock showed 1:23 AM in the morning.

I walked down the hall and very quickly learned it was coming from my parent's room. The door was closed. The sounds were very loud with a violence to them, and heavy breathing and pounding. My parents were obviously in love. I felt red in the face and went back to my room, but this time closed the door.

I lay down on my bed with my face against the mattress. I could feel myself getting hard. I wondered if I ever had or would ever have a girlfriend. I had a lump in my throat and almost cried. I soon fell asleep.

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Suddenly I awoke and noticed that sunlight was already streaming in the window onto the floor. I must have overslept a little, I thought. I jumped out of bed and grabbed some underwear from the dresser and walked out of the room dodging my weight lifting equipment. I had to be careful doing that as I had bruised myself walking into the equipment a few times over the past few days. I left the room and walked into the bathroom to the immediate left outside my bedroom door, and looked at myself in the mirror as I removed the T-shirt and the boxers I slept in.

Looking directly into my eyes I began to feel a bit sorry for myself. 'What is happening to me?', I thought. I thought I looked pathetic and had no purpose in life. I also hated what happened to those girls in my dream. I wanted to rescue them. They were trapped. Maybe they are either all dead now or are totally committed to their cause. I hoped it was not true. The dream seemed so real, but it was so horrible too. I could tell I was still shaken by it. I thought that if this was going on in the World, then the World is cruel. As a man, shouldn't I protect women?