I can be like him too - KazuScara

Chapter V. "Desire continued"

The sky felt even more gloomier as the day progressed.

Kazuha continued to stare at Scaramouche. "What the hell is he talking about?" He thought to himself.
He then looked down, facing his head another way to avoid eye contact.

"You didn't even answer the question I asked. What is this feeling you're talking about? Im sorry Scaramouche, but it sounds confusing and a bit stupid." Kazuha said, annoyed.

Scaramouche leaned a bit back from Kazuha.
"I didn't expect you to speak so sharp like that. Yet the audacity to question what I said, it's easy to understand what I told you. Unless, you're lacking common knowledge,"

Kazuha sighed in frustration.
"Well maybe if you explained it a bit better I would understand it other than comparing it to dumb shit."

Kazuha covered his mouth, shocked.
He didn't mean to say that.

Scaramouche smirked as he got up from the bed.

"I'm sorry Scara, I didn't mean to snap at you-"

Scaramouche then smiled. Kazuha was confused..isn't he supposed to be mad at him for responding in such a harsh way? " You look so pretty, Kazuha." Scaramouche said as he laughed.

Kazuha looked down, but he couldn't for long as Scaramouche lifted his chin up.

"Let's have some fun, Kazuha."
Kazuha didn't respond.

"Only if you want to, of course."
Scaramouche said, looking Kazuha in the eye.

Kazuha didn't get it. Why was Scaramouche acting so weird all of a sudden? Yesterday, when he asked Scaramouche to come see him again he didn't mean it like this. He wasn't ready to participate in sexual activities, not yet.

Kazuha closed his eyes as he spoke, "I don't want to have sex Scaramouche. I just wanted to hang out,"

Oh

Scaramouche backed away from Kazuha. When he did, he saw tears form in his lover's eyes. Kazuha looked down to make it seem unnoticeable, but Scaramouche already noticed.

"Shit..what did I do?" Scaramouche thought.
Moments after, he realized he pressured Kazuha.
He didn't mean to do that at all, he fucked up.

"I'm so sorry Kazuha"
Scaramouche felt angry at himself. That apology wouldn't be enough. Scaramouche leaned closer to Kazuha and lifted up his bangs, only to see that the white haired boy has been silently sobbing the whole entire time.

A pain ache from Scaramouche's chest.
He really made Kazuha cry, didn't he? Over some stupid feeling he wanted to set free.

"Really Kazuha, I am sorry..please don't ignore me."
Kazuha still didn't respond back.

The two sat there in silence, until Kazuha said something. "Tomo wouldn't have done this to me at all.." Kazuha said, beginning to look like he was going to sob again.

Scaramouche felt angry. He didn't want to hear that name again. Why is Kazuha bringing him up?

"I said sorry, Kazuha. I don't know what else will make you accept my apology."

"Then, go home..leave." Kazuha demanded. After Scaramouche heard this, he wanted to cry.

But he left anyway, he knew it wouldn't be good if he didn't.

-

Childe and La Signora were having a couple of drinks, while chatting.

"It's been a couple of hours now." La Signora said, as she took a sip of her wine. "I agree, you think Scaramouche is having fun out there?" Childe asked.

La Signora shrugged. "It's pretty gloomy outside still. So I doubt he's having fun."

"I suppose you're right," Childe took the wine bottle and poured more into his wine glass, stirring it up. Childe hasn't told Signora this but, he has been keeping an eye on where Scaramouche says he's going. Lately he's been visiting his friend's place and Childe found it a little odd. Is he just there to hang out with the person? Or do they have something established that no one knows about.

The front door opened as Scaramouche stood from outside of it. Both La Signora and Childe gasped.
Scaramouche stood there, with tears running down his eyes. Seconds later, he walked in but didn't close the door behind him.

La Signora looked at Childe. Just by looking at one another they both shared concerns for Scaramouche. La Signora got up and closed the front door, still looking at Childe.

Before either of them could ask Scaramouche if he was okay, he went into his bedroom and closed the door.

Once Scaramouche was inside, he glanced over at the Photos on the desk. "I'm so disgusting.." he whispered to himself. He wanted to desperately go back to Kazuha and say sorry over and over again.

It hurts.

He couldn't really control how he was feeling when he did all of those things. It's almost like something inside of him took over. But now Kazuha's definitely pissed at him. Scaramouche had tears that kept running down his eyes like a waterfall. He then covered his face with his hands and sobbed the moment away.

Childe sighed. "I thought he was having fun- I don't know what went wrong." Childe started to believe that Scaramouche and his friend did established something after all. They both might be going through it. La Signora glanced over to the window. "It's probably nothing too urgent. He'll live." Even with Signora's reassurance, if that even was one, Childe couldn't stop worrying about him.

-
Thunder erodes from outside as Scaramouche's breathing was shaky, as his body was too. His right arm was the most shaky. What he was holding from his left had dropped. Dark red rained down from the right. This wasn't the first time he's done this. He had various scars on both of his arms. Each one representing pain. This was a new one, made out of anger.

It hurted, but not as much as the way it hurted to see Kazuha cry because of his own doing. His body wasn't so shaky anymore. His left arm fine, as the right divined from the exposure of the window light.

Scaramouche looked down. He promised himself to never feel like that again. He realized when he does, it only ends up hurting Kazuha. Scaramouche couldn't help it but smile. Even when Kazuha was upset, he still looked beautiful.

He missed Kazuha again dearly
Tomorrow, he decided to give Kazuha some time.
He would have to occupy himself another way.

End of chapter V.
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