The way I love you

3| Nightsky

"Don't cry. Please…", Sean said, placing an arm around her. "I am sorry for making assumptions without asking you. I just… well I found that test and since then I was like… imagining how our life would be with another baby but I am happy either way. Okay? Don't think that I am disappointed or angry with you. Not at all. I am just shocked that it wasn't your test since you're the only woman living in this house.", Sean said, placing a gentle kiss on her head. "The question is whose is it?" 

"Only Bex and Maddie were here and Bex was drinking today. No way she would have done that with the knowledge of a pregnancy. Leaves us with Maddie but I have no idea why she would do such a test in a stranger's home. You know?", She said. 

"Yeah. I understand what you mean. Maybe she couldn't wait to find out. Got interrupted. I don't know.", Sean tried to think about reasons. "How old is she even? She looked like a teenager to me.", he added with a frown. 

"She's 19 indeed. That's quite young…and Matthew is 21. Don't know if they are ready to face the consequences of a positive test.", Lana wondered out loud. "Remember when I told you that she was behaving weirdly at the end? I think I know the reason now. She wanted to go to the bathroom just before you went upstairs with the kids but Leo was blocking it, so I sent her upstairs. I don't think that she needed to go. I think she wanted to get the test. Cuz she had her purse in her hands as well.", Lana figured. "It's none of our business to ask her, is it?", the woman looked at Sean with a thinking expression. 

"No… I believe not. It's their life…", he said. "Let's wait and see what will happen. We will know in at least three to four months I guess.", Sean said, putting the test away, just in case they would come after it, before pulling Lana into his arms. 

And again… sorry for almost ruining it with this fight. I didn't want to yell. It just came over me…", he whispered. 

Lana smiled softly. "Doesn't matter now. We both yelled in the end…and…I said some words I shouldn't have used. I didn't mean it…", she said. "Let's think about something else before going to bed.", she said, making Sean clear his throat. 

"Thank you for that Christmas experience. It was pretty special.", he chuckled. 

"I didn't do anything special.", she said with a smirk. "I just loved you all."

"I know… and that's the most special thing to me.", he said, stroking over her head. 

Lana cherished that moment for a couple of seconds, getting lost in the smell of his aftershave. She had a small smile on her lips, thinking about the past few days that seemed magical to her even though she was struggling with some mood swings. 

"About tomorrow…", she started, trying to approach the topic calmly since she knew how sensitive it was. "It's Tanya's birthday…", she said whilst her smile was slowly fading. She felt straight away how Sean's body tensed up when the words slipped over her tongue, that's why she held him tighter, starting to draw circles on his back. 

"I thought it might be a good idea for you to spend the day with the boys. Like a father-son day. I will take Amélie…and  you could go to church or… I don't know…at the end of the day we could watch some old videos.", she said quite shyly since she wasn't sure how Sean would react. Maybe he just wanted to go through that day without even remembering too much. Everyone was different in the grieving process. 

"That… it actually sounds pretty nice…", Sean said with a smile. "Thank you… I… I think I would like to take the boys to a Chinese restaurant. It was Tanya's favorite here in Vancouver.", he chuckled. "I think they would love that." 

"Sounds great to me.", Lana confessed and gave him a small kiss. 

The next day began for them like every other holiday day. Amélie awoke around seven, the boys around eight. You could have thought that it was a normal family morning, according to the behavior of everyone but Lana could see through Sean's mask. He hadn't slept well, was twisting and turning during the night until Lana spooned him to finally calm her boyfriend down in addition to giving him some comfort. She knew how hard a birthday of a past loved one was, especially the first one. Sean's dark eyes told her straight away that he was struggling, even though he tried not to show it. But his state didn't hold him back from taking his boys out today as Lana has proposed to him.