Chapter 15

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Alexa's POV

Mom let's go of my arm as soon as we are outside and gets straight in the car. If she wasn't mad before we got here, she definitely is now. I don't exactly know what happened I just couldn't get out of my head, I couldn't focus on what anyone was saying the whole dinner was a blur.

Every time someone's phone pinged or vibrated I thought that was it, someone had saw the thread on Twitter. Every time someone asked how I was, I had to choke back the tears that don't seem to ever leave my eyes. I was there, but I wasn't there.

I get in the car and look at my mom, trying to think of something to say, to apologise. I sit like a goldfish just opening and closing my mouth, but the words don't seem to want to come out.

She pulls out of Robert's gates, keeping her eyes glued to the road. I glance across now and then, hoping she'll meet my eye and give me one of her warm smiles to tell me it's all okay. But she never looks in my direction, and it's definitely not all okay.

I know now for certain she's upset with me, upset perhaps being an understatement. Furious seems like a better term, going off the tight grip she's got on the steering wheel making her knuckles turn white.

It's a horrible silence the whole way and my heart is beating out my chest. I don't know what to do. I've really messed up.

After what feels like forever, we finally pull into our driveway. As soon as mom parks in her spot, she doesn't hesitate, she is out of the car, purse in hand and walking through the front door while I'm still sat here preparing myself for what's about to happen.

I thought it'd blow over and we'd never have to talk about it, I thought I'd be better off keeping it all to myself. That way I wouldn't worry her, I could just brush it under the carpet and let summer break distract us both. I was wrong.

I slowly walk in after her, quietly closing the door behind me. She's dumped her coat and purse on the couch and has started pacing in front of the patio doors, overlooking the yard. I just stand awkwardly in the doorway not quite sure what to do or say.

Lizzie's POV

I wipe my now clammy palms against my jeans as I realise I'm shaking. The more I think about everything, the more upset and confused and frustrated I feel myself getting. I stop pacing when I catch Alexa's reflection in the window, stood in the doorway.

"Am I a bad mom?" I practically whisper after a couple of minutes. I don't really want the answer but I can't figure out how else we could've ended up here. "Do you not trust me?" My voice breaks a little bit as the second question that has been circling my mind, leaves my mouth.

"Mom no, of course I do." Alexa replies timidly. Had my mind been a little clearer I might have noticed the pain and fear in her own voice, but my own train of thoughts takes over. "Then you're going to have to explain it to me Alexa, because I don't know what to do."

My voice raises a little bit as my emotions start to rise. I just want to know what's going on, I can't keep going round in this circle with her. She needs to understand that despite whatever it is that's happened, the way she has gone about things isn't okay. "I know you're going through something right now, but I can't help if you don't speak to me."

"I don't... I just-" Alexa sighs and doesn't say anything else making something snap inside of me. "No Alexa, I know it's hard. I know you've been through so much and I know you've never had a place to let your feelings out. I get that. I always have, but you can't keep shutting me out."

I take a deep breath and find myself looking around the room noting the pictures on the walls, the odd misplaced book or a random hair product that may seem out of place, but is actually exactly where it needs to be. It makes me think back to when we packed up Alexa's things in the apartment she lived in with her last foster parents.

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