The computer program

7. Doorbell

She mentioned a date. Three days after I told him how to implant the chip.

"Thank you for your help", I said to the lady and turned to leave.

On Sunday night, I decided to text him.

Me: Are you lecturing tomorrow?

I hated myself a little, feeling pathetic, but what was I to do? This was unbearable. As I went to bed, he hadn't read my message. When I woke up, I checked first thing I did, but not only had he not answered; he had still not read it which I knew was some bullshit because he was always quick to read. And answer, for that matter.

But then, as I was walking to classes, I saw he had read.

But not answered.

Which I realised was a million times worse. 

Before his next lecture, I was nervous again. But this time, it wasn't that exciting, tingling nervousness of last week. Instead, I felt like I was going to throw up. I sat next to a group of people I was friends with, in the middle of them, and could hardly look on the empty stage before he entered. As he stepped up on it, a deep sadness filled me up from my toes up to my heart. What is happening, Professor Senju?

I had decided to behave as I normally did, raise my hand as I normally did, but when it came to it I didn't, simply because I didn't feel like it. I took notes, looking down on my computer screen but it was hard to focus as my mind painted up a million different scenarios. What if he was still playing with me? Wanting to increase the tension so that he could fuck the living daylights out of me? But it was getting ridiculous. And would he really decline my access to his lab as part of the play? I cursed myself for not having written a contract with him. He had paid me for my work, yes, but between us were just a decision that I worked for him, and no legal protection at all.

The dream that he was just toying with me was crushed as he once again left without paying any attention to me. I made a decision, set my face, took my backpack and ran after him.

"Professor Senju!" I screamed at his back in the corridor. "Professor Senju, wait!" People turned to look at me, but I was too heartbroken to care. "Hashi!!"

At this, he finally stopped, turned around.

He looked hostile.

"Professor Senju, what the fuck is going on?!" I screamed.

"Mr Uchiha, I really can't have you screaming obscenities at me in the corridor. If you swear one more time I will tell the principal to deal with you."

I just gaped. All the fun he stood for in my life was washed off him, as if someone had poured a bucket of bleach over his head.

"What in the world happened to you?" I asked.

"I'm busy. Leave."

He turned and left himself before I could.

Tears burned in my eyes. I saw he was on his way to his office, and I turned left to take a shortcut there. As he arrived and saw me, he looked angry.

"You're clingy", he said.

"I'm too old to be fixated about not being clingy. What is going on?"

"Don't scream in the corridor." He unlocked his door, stepped in. He didn't invite me in, but he left his door opened so I followed, closed it behind me. I stood set, crossed my arms.