[INDEF. HIATUS] Regrets and Wishes: One More Chance

Chapter 21 - Secret

"And the reason why I always hold your hands whenever we walk together...it is that I want to make sure that you're still there with me. I want to feel that you're real and not a mere hallucination...to feel that you really do exist in front of me. I want to make sure that you don't slip through my fingers...with my own hand."

Is that how you see me this whole time? Am I such a precious person that you absolutely do not want to see the day when I disappear from your life?

...

Ah, Master....

Now, I have remembered....

As you always said, you truly never considered me merely as your servant, nor as your skill from which you can dig benefits only for your own. You always considered me as your partner who deserved your utmost care and attention.

Ever since I was just a unique skill [Great Sage], you never blamed it on me when I made errors and failures that would surely endanger your life. Even when I had betrayed the expectation you had placed so high, you never blatantly showed your disappointment at me and cheered me up instead.

Ah, Master...how I adore you so much....

I hugged him tightly, burying my face on his chest.

...

"Let's sleep and take a rest now, okay, Ciel?" Master whispered softly, trying to let me go of his embrace. "It's already night."

I do not want to let go of you....

Please...let me be selfish...at least only this time....

Without saying anything, Master laid down our bodies together onto the bed. My body was slightly turned, carefully being put her on his right side, while I was still hugging him. He continued caressing my hair and sometimes patting my head, just like he usually did for me.

"Master?" I called.

"Hmm?"

"May I take it to mean that Master also wants me for himself?" Because you said that you did not want me to slip through your fingers...that you wanted me to always be there for you.

"Of course, you may." He ended the first sentence with a light chuckle. "In fact, you have to."

"Is that also a promise?" Because you said that it was okay for me to have things that I wanted to do and things that I wanted to have.

"Yes, it is. You'll always be the one who owns the most special place in my heart, Ciel. I will only get close to the others as a friend...as a family. Nothing beyond that."

"Really?" Are you really sincere with your promise, or did those sweet words just happen to come out?

"Yes, really. I promise you, until this soul residing within me disappears completely into nothingness."

"Seriously?" Are you really serious, to the point that you are willing to bet your soul for your promise just as you said?

"Really seriously. 'Because I am not "myself" without "you". You're my partner in whom I can always put my trust; and it will always be like that, even for eternity.' Haven't I told you so?"

"I am so grateful...." The only thing I could say afterwards was my gratitude for him. For always accepting me even when I had done what I should not have done. For always accepting every single thing about me even my worst side.

The dam of tears collapsed once again; I started sobbing uncontrollably. "Thank you...for always...accepting me...as who I am."

It was too much even for me to handle. My mind supposedly blessed with boundless wisdom just gave up to think further; all I could do afterwards was indulging in the warmth Master gave to me in his embrace, until I finally went into [Sleep].